Thursday, April 23, 2009

It's because I'm white

So I found out tonight that my waterproof mascara was a scam and not actually waterproof. It smeared down my face after crying my eyes out on the phone to Jen. You see, what had happened was:

I worked my second day in the salon. I'm the only white girl in a salon whose clientele is predominately ethnic. No biggie, I was brought in to do mainly walkins anyway--besides I did mainly ethnic hair when I was in beauty school (granted that was several years ago)...

So anyway it was a shitty day anyway. Grandma is gonna be in the hospital for at least a month (on the low side), my uncle's cat had to be put down because when he woke up this morning he couldn't walk and it turns out he had a brain disease (RIP Fred), then I leave one job and go to another (the hair gig), I made seven dollars in tips, yes seven during an 8.5 hour shift and eight patrons...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. To top it off I was doing this girls hair and everything was fine and to her liking until her mom walked in and flipped the fuck out because a white girl was doing her daughters hair..."I mean I'm no professional but I could do a better job than that at home..." long story short, I spent time in my day doing hair, but because Im white and she flipped out, I didn't even get paid for the services rendered. WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK.

Then I get to my mom's house to get my dog because my uncle (not the cool one related to the fred story) is not dependable and even though he said he was going to walk Pepper for me but turns out he didnt...then his wife came to the house but forgot to walk the dog. How do you forget to let a barking dog out of her kennel and put her back. I'm fucking pissed.

Everything is bumming me out, I'm overly tired and I need a second job to pay my bills but I'm going to go broke and crazy working at this salon. I'd be better off flipping burgers seriously. I'm scared shitless, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to pay my bills without a second job and I'm super scared about the unknown. Right now I don't know much of anything. I'm just spread too thin right now. Way too thin. I can't do school, and work two jobs and do everything else thats going on. I'm going crazy. I really am.

I want to wake up tomorrow and be independently wealthy. I just want everything to be simple and okay. I just don't know what to do...do I quit or do I stick it out?

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