Friday, October 30, 2009

It's Friday, finally

Not sure what I'm excited about since I've got a ten hour work day today and have to get up ass early to be at work at 5:45 on Saturday morning to take attendance.  The plus side is that I get to go back home afterward and crawl back into bed...Jen will be there waiting for me... I'd like to say I'd have time for a quickie before she heads off to work (shes working during the day saturday so that she can go with Me, my mom, Mandi, and lil man trick-or-treating...then I'll have her all to myself Saturday night for a change--aka way before 11:30 or midnight, lol)... the reality of the matter is that I'm one of those people who 9 times out of 10 if I got to choose between sleeping a little longer and sex, I'm choosing sleep.

Don't judge me.  I love sex, but I love sleep more some days.  I make exceptions here and there...but it's great because 9 times out of ten Jen prefers the same... lol.  It works out.  I love having a girlfriend that likes sleeping in on the weekends (normally sunday for us)... even lil man will sleep in a bit, until he gets hungry and he lets us know... (Jen and I try to alternate weekends as to who gets to stay in the bed and who has to feed him and watch cartoons and hang out... I'm not going to lie, I've played the "he's your kid card" once or twice just so I can sleep some more....) but normally I'm a team player and willing to let her lay there until I get back in the bed and cuddle up next to her.

My foot hurts worse than normal.  I can tell a difference in my heel from the few pounds that I've lost, but unfortunately I'm limping because of my right foot... this is the foot that normally kills me but rather than the pain in my heel like normal, it's in the ball of my foot on the right side.  I know its from the way i've been walking on it to make my heel not hurt as bad...but I think in the long run I ended up giving myself a fucking stress fracture... I need to go to the doctor but refuse to pay another doctor anything right now with all the other medical bills I'm still paying on...Shit.  I will go eventually, hopefully before I do some real damage.  But the concrete floors of the warehouse are BRUTAL.

The contractor of mine that was discovered to be a registered sex offender did end up getting fired.  I ended his assignment day before yesterday.  I'm expecting to fire a minimum of six people today for various reasons.... one already resigned so that cuts it down to five.  Since September of last year we've fired over 348 contractors and only 10 percent of them were my companies decision... I hate the staffing industry for that reason.  But I digress.

I'm working on a new, more generic resume and have intentions of creating a cover letter as well... Gotta keep my eyes peeled.  There is this guy at work that just walked in for the morning.  I despise him.  He's supposed to be all about "safety" but is ignorant in my opinion.  He's a hypocrite and I really don't see what purpose he serves.  On top of that he is a pastor, another case of one of "god's" representatives doing the most judging and saying/doing the most inappropriate shit.  He had the audacity a couple of weeks ago to mention something about how a woman's place is in the kitchen, among other masagonistic (spelling?) topics...I nearly came unglued.  The simple sound of his voice or laugh makes me cringe...ugh.

I had a girl moment yesterday.  When I got to Jen's place I just cried.  It was a combination of things...but aside from the normal, I'm a girl bullshit, I had been talking with my boss about our frustrations with work while she was on-site yesterday and she'd vent and I'd see her eyes get glassy and she'd look like she was about to cry (though she didn't)--and it was hard for me seeing my mentor, my boss this butch tough guy lady actually getting worked up because she's frustrated... when she normally lets she just roll... It was difficult.  She's dealt with this account twice as long as I have and I don't keep it a secret that I'm looking for something different...I just hope she finds something different (though I don't know if she's looking) so that she doesn't get stuck back out here in my absence if I do find something--does that make sense?

It was cool though...Jen let me talk..she listened, even through my long pauses where I was trying to choose my words carefully and not really lose my shit in front of her...i have an image to protect, lol (she'd love me regardless) and it's kind of jacked up but I think that sometimes, even though she's never said it, she finds relief in seeing me cry because then she knows that I do have feelings, lol.  God I must suck as a girlfriend.  I tell her how great she is on the regular and how much I love her, but most of the time I try and pretend I have my shit together and that I'm super tough and can handle anything, when in fact I'm this big baby that cries more often than I think I should and who will avoid talking to the woman I love if I'm super bummed out because I don't always want to be crying... though side bar...I do always eventually end up talking to her about this stuff.  I'm just one of those people that has to wrap their head around shit first.

I hope pepper is alright. I left her with grandma overnight last night.  Which meant she slept in her kennel which makes me sad... I'll make it up to her tonight, lol... she'll sleep in my bed and she and Jen can fight over covers and who gets to cuddle with me like normal.  Shit, who doesn't like two women fighting over them, hahah. Just kidding.

Shit to do, shit to do.  Agenda for the weekend, hang out with lil man, go to bed early, wake up ass early go to work, back to bed, hang out and chill, cook this new recipe I found at Weightwatchers.com (Layered mexican chicken), trick or treat, chill relax, sex, chill relax, sex, sleep, sex, sleep, sex, hang out, chill out, sex, some more sex, and get ready for another fifty five hour work week. Oh and update the resume

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Never a dull moment

The boss was at work today.  I'm still excited that I have a boss that I can "usually" talk to about anything.  Whether it be struggling with a resume, her home repairs, weight loss, doesn't matter--she's good people.  I do her mom's hair about every five weeks, she's good people too.  But I digress.

She had a meeting with the GM and a few other members of management plus her boss.  She came back and shared with me that the GM had nothing but praise for me and gave me serious Kudos.  Score.  He apparently said that I was a perfect match for this account because I had good rapport and got along well with all of the managers and what not.

Today, I get called into the HR manager's office by the Assistant GM... apparently while the AGM was doing his random trolling on the internet (which makes me happy that I changed my blog address) he discovered that one of my contractors was a registered sex offender. 

We are required to do background checks on all of our contractors in order to have them cleared to work for this client.  We go back seven years.  Well his charges are from 2000 so they wouldn't show up.  Unfortunately, after an employee of the client company was discovered as a registered sex offender, he was fired immediately... the odds are this will be the fate of my contractor as well.  It's out of my hands. 

I would have never expected it from this person, but I don't know the circumstances and can't cast judgment... all I know is that there is now the potential for me to lose one of my most reliable contractors.

Never a fucking dull moment around this place.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Haircut

I can't tell if it's just because I'm having a super shitty day, or if I am legitimately tired of dealing with my hair...but i think I might cut it all off again.  No, I'm not going to shave it again, but I think a faux hawk is definitely looking pretty awesome right now.  I just don't know.  I'm in a self loathing state of mind right now.  I don't feel pretty no matter what I try and I thought I was doing well with the weight loss until I saw pics from this weekend. 

I feel like I'm losing a battle that in fact has no chance of me winning...does that make sense?  Sure, the numbers say i'm losing... I keep trying to tell myself that it's going to take time, because well I'm not stupid, I know that it is... but I could cry right now. 

Unfortunately, when I get this emotional and feel this bummed out and icky about everything in general, my hair generally pays for it. 

I've gotta snap out of it... I just want to cry and sleep.  I hope this is just an off day.  I can't deal with depression right now, I don't have time for it. 

I'll go to my meeting tonight, have coffee with my mom (I bought new creamer...caramel apple), and get home and rest.  To make matters worse I had to call and fire someone while they were at their grandmothers funeral.  I don't make the rules, I just implement them, but damn...I'm batting a thousand today.

I'm leaning towards smoking again.  I never did it full time and still only pick one up as "prozac on a stick" but I think I'm going to buy a pack today after work.  Let's see I could potentially die from being a fat ass, or die from lung cancer (which I could get from second hand anyway)... decisions decisions.  What an awful state of mind I'm in right now.  My grandfather died after years of oxygen use...a smoker forever, my other grandma is on oxygen now... my uncle gene is in the hospital (icu) unless he died already and no one bothered telling me (which wouldn't surprise me since I was written off by that part of the family...they didn't like that I had to work and just couldnt take time off to amuse them buy drives back to my birthplace...good ol' Fayetteville, NC...) I don't love them any less.  I miss that part of the family and it makes me even more sad to think about him on oxygen the last few years because of years of smoking, emphazema and shit...and me thinking of going and buying a pack of smokes.

I can't win all of these battles...I'm too ill equipped.

Close to home

So it wasn't too long ago that the Ford Plant in Norfolk, VA closed meaning the end of many much needed jobs.  The Shipyards go through hiring and firing spells--it's the nature of the business I suppose... but most recently International Paper (formerly Union Camp) in Franklin, VA has announced it's closing and come spring, another 1200 jobs go with it. 

Franklin is fifteen minutes up the road from me and to be honest, the Papermill is the only thing keeping that town alive in my opinion.  Parts of Franklin were under water after Hurricane.... hell I don't remember which one, Floyd maybe, around 99 or 2000 but they rebuilt and kept it moving.  I don't know that the will survive this most recent announcement.

You have to figure, in addition to just the jobs of the plant workers...there are also jobs going to be lost (loggers, trucking companies, etc will be hit hard)  You see the situation the economy is in and hope it will take a turn for the better, but how long do we have to wait until that happens?  I've been saying it a lot lately, but I truly believe that by the end of the year, my position will not exist any longer.  I'm not even convinced that the client company won't make more cuts in attemps to survive like they did earlier this year. 

I'm bummed out by this fact.  Here I am finally, with a degree that is supposed to open up so many doors during a time where the job market is just a damn scary place.  The economy plays a huge part in the field that I've worked in for so long now....logistics, warehousing, distribution... if no one has money, no one buys product, if no one buys product there is no need to distribute it, etc...

I don't typically blog about such "serious' shit... but dammit, this shit keeps hitting closer and closer to home.  I held tight when my hours were cut in half... for those couple of months... but what awaits me tomorrow is a dismal unknown.  This is fucking scary.  I can't lose sleep over it.  I do hope that I can get a resume together that sells all that I have to offer (though I still have plenty of learning to do) and lands me in a position where I can surely survive this current economic situation.  My goal (though I know I only have so much control over the matter) is to find a job and voluntarily resign, as opposed to being escorted from the premises. 

The Weekend

The following is a summary of my weekend:

I drank on Friday night...


 

With my friend Julie...


 

Dogsat my nephew Shadow:


 

Carved a pumpkin with Jen and lil man...Lil man told me what he wanted it to look like, I drew it... Jen cut... 


She has great hands, wink wink...

 

  

Mr. Pumpkinhead

  

Jen and Lil man

  

Yeah...we are laying on the kitchen floor...Don't judge us...lil man was getting all Olan Mills and shit telling us how to pose and lay and what not, it was cute--he didn't do half bad.

 

We headed outside for some good ol' fashioned fall fun...




  

  

  

  

  

Pepper dug up mom's flower bed...

 

I love this pic of lil man latched on to Jen's feet, lol... You can tell he was having the time of his life...



It was a damn good day and damn good weekend.

I heart fall.


The end.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

50 questions

I stole this from Asphalt Cowboy:


1. What is the color of your toothbrush? White and Yellow
2. Name one person who made you smile today. Jen
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Dreaming
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? updating my "points" at weightwatchers.com
5. What is your favorite candy bar? 100 Grand
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Indeed... oh how I miss Nashville, lol
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Come on buddy, wake up so you can go potty"
8. What is your favorite ice cream? Caramel Praline Crunch
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water
10. Do you like your wallet? yep, it's a bifold Timbuktu one that Jen bought me
11. What was the last thing you ate? Baked doritos
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? underwear
13. The last sporting event you watched? Lakers vs Denver... it was on tv at the sports bar I was at last night
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? kettle corn
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: Jen
16. Ever go camping? Negative
17. Do you take vitamins daily? Yes.
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Negative.
19. Do you have a tan? Nah, I'm a shade darker than albino.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? No way.
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Sometimes
22. What did your last text message say? K, did you need anything
23. What are you doing tomorrow? carving pumpkins and spraying for bugs
24. Favorite color? black
25. Look to your left; what do you see? chair
26. What color is your watch? Dont have one.
27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? sharks
28. Would you strip for money? no, but I'd sell my ass by the pound
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive Thru.
30. What is your favorite number? 11
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? mom
32. Any plans today? dirty kinky sex
33. In how many states have you lived? 3
34. Biggest annoyance right now? Gma
35. Last song listened to? 21 guns
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? not without thinking really really hard.
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? I am the maid service.
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? flip flops
39. Are you jealous of anyone? Nope.
40. Is anyone jealous of you? Nah
41. Do you love anyone? Of course
42. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.
43. What do you usually do during the day? work
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? nah...
45. Do you use the word hello daily? repeatedly?
46. What color is your car? Quicksilver.
47. What size wedding ring do you wear? well it's not a wedding ring, but 8.5
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? yep
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope
50. How did you get your worst scar? I was sick.  My sister sat on my chest because she was a major bitch back then, my dog at the time, "Doeja" jumped up to protect me but instead her claw went threw my bottom lip split into two... took two different kinds of thread to fix it...still have a knot in my lip, but most days you can't see it

Friday, October 23, 2009

Buttcheeks

The other thing he wanted a picture of smoooshed against the shower door... For the record I told him to cut it out, this was a face only session.

Boys.  Lol.


  

  

  

This last pic has nothing to do with anything, but... this is the view as I was getting in my car this morning to come to work.  I love pink and purple sunrises :) 

Thursday, October 22, 2009

bedtime stories

Since it's Thursday night and Jen works late...I've got lil man.  I normally go to her place and watch him, wait for her to get home from work and then head back to my crib and go to bed.  Tonight we are trying something new since she has to work well after midnight.  I don't sleep well at her place during the week because I am paranoid about oversleeping and all types of other stuff, but I digress.  I'm at my house and so is lil man.  I met up with Jen at Food Kitty and took lil man, she went to work and we headed to my house (after a quick trip to mom's house to pick up Shadow the Pekinese) Side note: Mom is at the beach judging a fishing tournament, Aunt Melissa, Trouble the dog, and Earl the dog are all there... Mandi left today with baby Charley to go to Radford to see the baby daddy so I get to dog sit until everyone decides to come home....

So I made a kick ass dinner... burgers that were seasoned beyond my wildest expectations, pierogies which I freaking love and was fiending.... and steamed broccoli...mmmmm

So I get lil man out of the shower, teeth brushed, pj's on... I had to smile because earlier after dinner while I was loading the dishwasher... lil man randomly said:

Lil Man: "Tommy, I love you"
Me: Oh yeah, I love you too buddy
LM: I love you like a jack rabbit
Me: Thank you, I think...

So anyway, I was tucking him and getting ready to read to him when Jen called me to help me figure out all of my blogging dilemmas.... her phone was taking forever to load so I told her I was going to go ahead and read to him while she figured stuff out.  I read him Fluffy meets the dinosaur with my phone resting on my shoulder... so I read Jen a bedtime story for the first time ever, as well, lol.  Fluffy is a guinea pig you see and the class that takes care of him go to a dinosaur museum and Fluffy sneaks into a bagged lunch so he can see the dinos... it's a pretty cute book.  Lil man picked it out at the library our last trip to the library. 

The situation was cute in my opinion.  Jen was quiet and seemed attentive as I read...and I even made sure to describe the pictures in case something wasn't going to make sense as I read, lol.  I dunno, just cracked me up.  She told me it was "exciting."  She's always been amused by how lil man and I relate...

When he was in the shower today, I went to check on him and he had his face smooshed against the shower door...I had to laugh.  This kid is amusing to say the least. 

I snapped a few pics of his face smooshed against the glass...ensuring to not get anything below the shoulders, since I didn't want any accusations of kiddie porn thrown my way...the world is crazy these days you know.  Crazy.

Dilemma

Okay, here's the deal... I changed my blog address but then changed it back because it dawned on me that I don't think that it would automatically switch for my followers.

I mean you have to follow by website right... so if I change it from tegaskins.blogspot.com to something else, then it shuts off life to all that was tegaskins.... am I making sense or am I just losing it? 

Either way, this blog is to inform everyone that after Saturday or Sunday I will change my website to:

tommytalesitall.blogspot.com :)

Anyone whose coming for the ride...come on... if I'm trippin' and the change doesn't affect anyone negatively then I'll see ya'll anyway...

Dammit.  I finally get some followers and now I'm feeling like I'm starting from scratch.

I just want to blog freely and not worry about the repercussions of the shit that I share...however random it may be. 

Google

I googled myself today.  I'm not super conceited or anything, but after my coworker putting the paranoia bug in my head I had to see how easy I was to find on the web.  I don't want to give up blogging you know.  I searched first by first and last name. 

Luckily there is some dude with my name that is a famous turkey caller or something so they'd have to go 50 pages deep to find me I'd guess...so no worries.  Second search was the full name... Still the same old non detrimental stuff... classmates.com class of 99 crap... so what. 

Well then I got creative.  I wondered about my email address so I typed it in and well fuck... there's my blog.  Damn it.  So since I was a complete and total idiot when creating my original blogger address and used my initials and name... I have changed it.  Now... in theory, anything posted under that address no longer "exists" and now the address is more generic without linking me obviously to anything.

So I don't feel like I conformed and gave up blogging to appease the masses and protect my job or potential jobs because of my randomness and opinions--I have however taken a smarter less obvious approach to my blogging...

Free speech, while a constitutional right doesn't do shit for me when it comes to employment really... and let's face it... I want to be successful in my career.  I do not however want to stop blogging, or have to censor what I write.  Blogging is my outlet and has been from day one... I can't live in fear of being penalized for my views, lifestyle, pics with beer or anything of the sort... that's no way to live in my opinion.  And i feel like as long as I don't call someone out by name or out my company or place of business on the regular in a negative fashion that I should be okay in the long run.

Fuck the bullshit.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

To blog or not to blog

Yep that's the question...  I'm so behind in blogging and have so much to blog about but have decided to just put all that on hold to get thoughts on one topic in particular--Blogging.

See, what had happened was... I was at work today talking to some supervisors.  Somehow the topic of Myspace and Facebook came up and how this particular supervisor no longer belonged to Facebook and how he had never got in on that whole "myspace thing" anyway... I pipe in with... Yeah, I don't do the Facebook thing and I haven't done the Myspace thing in like forever...I blog and that's about it.

He's like, you blog?  Aren't you worried about prospective or current employers reading it and firing you or not hiring you?  I never really thought about it prior to this.  I was like well I bitch about work on the regular, but I don't use my company's name...everything is client or warehouse, or whatever...He's like it doesn't matter...they can search for you and find it and read it and then they'll know (basically...I'm sharing the condensed version of course)...

Well shit.  I pipe in about how that's a violation of my rights to be fired or not hired based on blogs...he shares with me that it has been ruled relevant because it is considered "published" material.  Well fuck... this whole conspiracy theory has me paranoid.

What I need to know is what is "safe" material to cover.  It appears that my "outlet to the world" is not nearly as freeing as I originally thought.  Do I delete all previous blogs that contains any bit of "unsafe" material (aka ALL OF MY MOTHER FUCKING BLOGS)?  Or do I chance it... or do I just not blog at all anymore?

What if I delete all blogs based on work venting... then I still have issues of it being public on the web that I'm GAY... oh dear...not that... mentions of dirty kinky sex, bodily functions, vulgar license plates... cussing as if it were going out of style... I'm super paranoid now... I can't talk freely...

He put the thought in my head... he said himself that like "50 percent of corporate america is making internet searches part of normal HR functions when it comes to background checks or just researching the candidate in general.

For fucks sake, I just finished my degree.  Ten years in the works and the shit is done, am I ruining every chance I have by a simple blog that I LOVE... where I vent and say whatever the hell without a second thought.  I don't know what's safe and what isn't.  I'm open to suggestions on this one.  I don't know what to do at this point.

And side note, I'm pissed that i am so behind on blog reading and responding to comments.  I've been busting ass at work and been spending more time actually cooking in the evening so that I can eat healthier (thereby eliminated grandma's desire to be in the kitchen and cook weird creepy shit).

I hope everyone is well...I will get to your blogs soon!!  I promise.  Help me out here, PLEASE....

Saturday, October 17, 2009

14 months

It only took 14 months for the General Manager to acknowledge, accept, appreciate, and laugh at my sense of humor.  It's like all of a sudden something clicked and he was like, "wow, Tommy's pretty clever..." or something.  He told me a couple of weeks ago that he was impressed by the little one liner I offered at the daily meeting... (my thought was, dude I do it all the time, where have you been...) made note and just kept it moving.

Yesterday, he talked to me a bit more which still makes me paranoid...yes, I'm one of "those people." But this morning, this morning was icing on the cake.  I'm out on the floor (yes working on a saturday, eww) and he comes up to me and is like "hey, are those the two girls from yesterday that were spotted just chillin' after pretending to be sick and leaving work?"  I explained they were and that my boss and his ops manager had decided that a final warning was acceptable simply because they need bodies here to work with the volume as high as it is.  I assured him that my boss was working on getting more quality people in here so that we wouldn't have to tolerate such things in the future.  He wasn't amused.

He wanted to know why we were wasting time on them and just hadn't fired them.  I explained it to him again, but using different verbage and added how on a personal note I'm trying to not get frustrated by the fact that we can't hire dependable people that come to work on the regular and want to be here.... I said a few other things and he stopped.  ( I assumed I had said something wrong) He looks at me and says, "Tommy don't lose that passion... when you lose that passion, that's when you begin to accept mediocrity."  It was deep, but weird.  Did I just have a philosophical moment with the GM, a dude who has kept communication with me to a bare minimum since my start here over 14 months ago?  Wow...breakthrough or twilight zone?  I'm not sure.

To top it off I had continued on my "rounds" and was helping some of my ladies reticket some items and build a pallet when he walks by and is like "Tommy can I talk to you." Okay sure... the convo went something like this:

Me: Yes sir, what's up
Him: I thought you were going out of town this weekend
Me: (chuckled) I was, but we had to work today...and no one could cover my shift (meaning I didn't bother asking my boss because I knew she wouldn't be interested), so I had plans of being gone, but it didn't work out
Him: Oh, I'm sorry about that, so you're saving the trip for another time?
Me; Well it worked out that I was broke this weekend anyway and couldn't afford to go, plus I was out sick on tuesday and since I don't get sick time, I need the few extra hours to make up for it....
Him: Oh Okay, I just new we had talked about it earlier this week...I was confused.  I'm glad to see you're not in a bad mood though... "Grumpy Tommy" has the potential for fifty pissed off people from the start (in reference to my contractors)...

He continued laughing about how he uses the "Grumpy Tommy" metaphor as a management strategy in meetings or something...okay weirdo.  I mean yeah, sort of funny, but I'm more concerned by why this guy is talking to me all of a sudden.  I'm freaking out.

I'm kind of in GM overload.  People totally switching it up on me like that freaks me the hell out.  It would be one thing if he were bipolar or something and constantly up and down...but this is a total change from how things normally are.  I'm paranoid.

There are rumors of more cuts within the client company happening by February...I don't see my job lasting into the new year... I don't see the presence of the staffing company I work for being out here period by that time... I'm being realistic.  In order for the client to survive (despite the numerous cuts they've already made) they are going to have to operate bare bones to make up for the labor involved in peak "production"... I just hope that my resume catches someone's attention by that point so that I can leave voluntarily rather than being escorted out.  Blah.

I've thought about looking for work in new cities or areas, but I don't know where to begin...or where I'd want to work.  I love new england, never been and they have shitty cold winters but I've always been drawn there...Maine especially.  Oregon has always caught my eye, so has Washington State... I don't see myself in a Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi place or the surrounding area....

Georgia maybe, South Carolina, North Carolina dependent upon the area.... Texas, not really but I dunno, Oklahoma, Kansas or Tornado anywhere, fuck no.... Arizona and New Mexico sure... but the freaky snakes and spiders rule it out... California, nah... Nevada, Utah, Nah.... Idaho, what the fuck, no, Colorado, maybe... Minnesota, South/North Dakota, Alaska.... negative... I'm not trying to be in Virginia forever but I definitely have to research before actually following through on such a drastic thought.  Ohio, no... I think a good portion of Ohio is now living in Virginia simply for the military bases around here... there and Kansas seem to have folks that join the military just to get the hell up out of there, haha.... why would I go sprinting that route... Michigan...Wisconsin...I dunno...

I'm amused about the thought of just picking up and starting fresh, but in reality I could do that with a move out of grandma's house you know, I don't have to leave the state... Canada would be a thought... but not the french side... lol. I guess I've kind of narrowed it down a bit, I mean shit, what's left really, lol. Oh West Virginia--NEGATIVE...i Have family there...which means I'm already related to probably the whole state somehow or another...

I digress...spreadsheets to do... gotta get ready for Monday.

Friday, October 16, 2009

This is what random looks like

I had a moment today at work when I almost lost it.  You see like nine different contractors went home early because they were "sick" or their kid was "sick" or blah blah blah.  Two girls in particular set me off.  One was sick and the other had to leave because they rode together.  Lame excuse, but it is what it is...I just remind them of the expectation, issue the points and say peace out.  Well they left at 11:45 and I went on my lunch break at about 12:15...I pull up at subway to see the two of them, looking healthy and happy... they didn't see me until they went to get in their car and look up to see me standing in front of subway.  I couldn't say anything because if I had at that moment, I'd be jobless right now... I shook my head and went in to order my sub.  I get back to the break room and the Assistant General Manager comes in and is like, did you miss a call from me?  I checked my phone and I had...I asked him what was up and he told me he saw my two contractors that were sick up at Food Lion when he went to get his lunch... Okay it's one thing for me to get pissed, but when the fucking AGM sees the shit... it's not a good thing.  I called my boss (she pays the "bad cop" role way better than me....) and honestly I hoped she'd fire them.  These girls just look at me blankly when I coach them or have to discipline them for anything... they've only been working here for a week and they are already on final warning for attendance.  I hate it when people beg for a job and then don't give a shit about it when they get it.... ugh.  The fucking woes of the staffing world.  Bunch of bullshit it is.

I've decided to share some random photos since I haven't done that lately:



Charley is getting chunkier by the day :) My niece is friggin' adorable....




I need to touch up my roots, lol...my color is looking a little brassy these days...I need to stop being fucking lazy for real.  Maybe I'll go dark again... I dunno.




Lil man in the "tea cups" at the Peanut Fest last weekend.




Jen in the "Dizzy Dinosaur" ride...lol.




Her hotness and lil man :)




He had a blast at the Peanut Fest... Jen had a great time too.... it was a good day :)




I"m country, but it took my girlfriend from Colorado to prove to me that people really do eat pterodactyl size smoked turkey legs in public (at fairs)... this isn't just the punch line for the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.... funny.




We helped lil man make a hat :)




With this being peanut country, it's obvious there would be a Planter's Plant somewhere here...lol... Lil man and Mr. Peanut himself...




The sky was beautiful the other morning on my way into work.  I'm not often a fan of leaving for work at o dark thirty, but I was glad to have my camera with me for this one.

Grandma makes me laugh.  I was cleaning out the fridge and cleaning the kitchen after dinner.  There was expired milk and since she freaks when I throw anything away I asked her if she was still drinking it.  (It smelled sour as hell) and she said yeah..."I had some on my SIRil this morning" she says cereal in almost one syllable, lol.  I was like grandma did it give you the shits? (Which she wouldnt know anyway because she keeps the shits) she went off about how cottage cheese doesn't tear up my stomach and that's made with spoiled milk.  Like yeah same concept except (while I'm no expert) seems like its a completely different process since it doesn't make people sick in that form.   I don't eat that shit anyway because of the lumps.  Freaks me out. I don't eat ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, or tapioca for the same reason... I don't like the lumps, plus with a lifestyle such as mine and a regular vagina buffet...I don't want to think about eating anything with lumps, fucking gross.

I have to work tomorrow.  Granted it's not all day, I don't want to give part of my Saturday to them, but I have to do what I have to do.  Peak season is here... 50 to sixty hour weeks here we come... ten hour days next week...probably next saturday as well.  I'm going to take a nap after that, then watch lil man and hang out with him... I need to cat nap to be energized to pencil in some much needed dirty kinky sex with her hotness. 


Pepper has gas and just farted all up in my personal space.


I ordered PB2, which is powdered peanut butter you mix with water to make it spreadable...it's supposed to be pretty good and is way less fat and calories than the real thing... I'm kind of excited.


Fuck it's late.  Time for bed... it's another early morning tomorrow.  I'm sleeping my ass off come Sunday.  End of story.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm trying

I'm trying to not blog about the bullshit that occurred at work today--it will only make me more mad.
I'm trying to just be thankful that I have a job for now, even if I don't like it every single day.
I'm trying to just smile and not let the lil shit bother me.
I'm trying to get motivated to clean my room, living room, and bedroom.
I'm trying to stay positive when in fact all I want to do is bitch...ABOUT EVERYTHING.
I'm trying--I really am.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I did make it through the day. 
I did invite Jen and lil man over for a fabulous healthy dinner--Rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes w/gravy, and snap beans :) mmm hmmm
I did have something else in mind when I invited her and my plan couldn't have worked out better.
Grandma wanted to put a cute little kitty puzzle that she had bought together with little man... so he was downstairs chilling with her, which meant they were both happy and grandma wasn't hollering or being needy...
I was able to sneak upstairs and take advantage of Jen...HELL YEAH :) I'd like to give grandma a gold star.  Though walking up to her and giving her a gold star and saying, this is for running interference while I threw it to Jen hardcore upstairs, HAHAHAA....

I dunno...she doesn't get a lot of what I'm talking about a lot of the time...I just might have to try it...she'd probably stop listening after gold star, haha.

I'm not going to go to the beach this weekend.  My mom was going to lend me gas money which I already felt shitty about to get down there...but after getting my paycheck today and then putting the whole thing toward my car payment, it's just not the financially responsible thing to do. I've got to shift the few bucks in my savings account for gas... this sucks.  I've gotta tighten up and land my dream job...the one that will pay me more and allow for me to have money to pay rent and actually not live paycheck to paycheck.  Have you ever heard of such a thing someone who wants to pay rent...crazy??

Chino kitty won't stop licking my head...I'm actually going to have to get up and move....

I'm looking forward to A christmas carol starring Jim Carrey being released in 3D in November....It's going to be good.

I hate money being tight and being stressed out at work and just wanting to punch people...I'm a very angry person these days...this is so not me.  Who am I kidding...maybe it is??? 

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I was sick

I called out of work today because I was sick.  SICK OF GOING TO WORK perhaps...I dunno.  I just felt like ass.  I couldn't force myself to get out of the bed.  I went to bed at nine thirty last night and when that alarm went off this morning, I just couldn't do it.  I called my boss, then texted asking her to text me when she got the message... twenty minutes went by and still nothing so I called the big boss and left him a voicemail to ensure my ass was covered.  I don't get paid sick days...so I just took a hit on my next paycheck...I dont care.

What kills me is that I still got three work phone calls today, two from supervisors at the warehouse who didn't even realize that I wasn't there--gee...glad to know my presence is missed when I'm not around.  Fuck.  I still figure two call outs in 14 months is still decent... I don't exactly abuse the system, that's for damn sure.

I think I'm going to go to the beach this weekend.  I need to get away.  The kicker is I asked my boss yesterday for Saturday off, in case they work (via email, because she had called out herself due to feeling like ass) and got a response last night that said, she didn't see it being an issue on her end, but that I needed to ask the GM and AGM for the warehouse to see if they had an issue with me taking that day off... another thing that bothers me about my limbo position.  I don't just report to one boss or company, I have two that most of the time I need permission from in order to do anything, but then don't really get the perks from either one...blah.

Chuck Lidell just got voted off of Dancing with the Stars.  My head hurts.

I had a mood swing the other day which turned into Jen and I lashing out at one another.  Nothing serious...just blown out of proportion because she's the type that wants to talk and resolve things immediately, and I'm the type that just wants to be pissed the fuck off for a little while, even if I don't know why.  The more I'm pushed to talk the madder I become.  Last night we talked and I can safely say that for the first time in almost a year we had a conversation after a little disagreement and actually resolved the issue rather than just letting it be and never really resolving it...the issue just kind of disappears....  Not to say that we have issues often, but they happen nonetheless.  It feels good to have finally resolved something, lol.  I told my mom about us actually resolving things... she laughed and said, "Oh, what was that, your in a functioning relationship with communication for a change....this is a new concept...." Then she did this whole evil laugh thing, what a smart ass.

Jen mentioned something about lil man inquiring about us the other day... the conversation began something like: "mommy, are you and tommy boyfriend and girlfriend?"  She couldnt really talk about it to fill me in, so I'm curious as to how the conversation actually went.  We don't do anything in front of him except for hugs, but we give him hugs too... but he's a smart kid... so who knows...

There is so much on my mind right now, but I can't focus on any of it right now.  I'm frazzled for no reason.  I don't wanna go to work tomorrow, but I can't afford the day I took, much less more. 

Pepper needs flea AND heartworm stuff and her toenails cut...I mentioned it to grandma because she told me when I got Pepper that she will help me with the expenses.  Funny how anytime I ask her for help, she says shit like..."your paycheck just doesn't stretch far enough" OBVIOUSLY NOT IF I'M ASKING FOR HELP...jeez nevermind, I'll figure out something.

Gma had the nerve to comment on what I was eating earlier.  She knows I'm doing weight watchers.... she offered me her chinese the other day and I declined... I explained that there were a lot of hidden calories that I wasn't interested in...she continued to mumble about how she didn't think that was true because "chinese people aren't fat..." REALLY LADY....

So then she turned her leftover chinese into some weird fucked up soup and offered it to me again....JUST TRY IT she said...SHE SO DOESN'T FUCKING GET IT.  I told her again no thank you and she got an attitude.  This is also a woman who is on medicine for diabetes and swears its vegetables that gives her the shits and not the nine tons of sugar she consumes in a day that her medication fights against.... whatever lady, I was on one of those meds for a short time trying to treat PCOS and I couldn't even think about sugar without getting the shits... its not the vegetables....

So today, my mom comes over to balance Gma's check book.  She brought over the vegetable soup she made last night.  This I ate...I know what my mom put in it and was able to figure out the points involved because she's made it the same as always and the onions, celery, and carrots type stuff season it so nothing else is added.... well I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to go with it (counting all of my points accordingly...of course) and i sit down at the table...Gma mutters...."you're having two pieces of bread..." Luckily mom saw the glare I through grandma and explained to her that I was eating bread that counted as only one point because it was high in fiber...etc...

I had to flat out tell Gma that if she kept watching what I'm eating and criticizing that I was going to stab her in the eye with a fork.  My mom's jaw dropped open and she tried to explain to grandma that it's important that they support my efforts instead of added stress to the equation.  She assured grandma that if I was eating something then I had counted the points and subtracted them from my daily allotment.  Grandma is a lifetime member of weight watchers and had been since like the 80s....now she's back up over 250 and can't get around worth shit.  But because she's a lifetime member she's apparently an expert.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

To all my followers I neglect....

I'm sorry.  I've had some REALLY great comments here lately and have completely neglected to acknowledge many of them... I'm so not on top of my game--for that I'm going to try and make up for it now... (hopefully without missing out on my "regulars" lol). (In no particular order of course)...

Jude (one of my favorites)  recently commented about my new hair being... (what I translated to be) mediocre.  She prefers my hair styled in the faux hawk...

This is why I can't wear it in the faux hawk easily right now:  (this is the old picture... my hair was so long that my faux hawk had a gangster lean... my hair is even longer than this now... and I'm lazy dammit.)


I haven't uploaded the newer pics of the attempted faux hawks...

Vixen Kitten as always rocks... taking time out of her busy schedule being wonderful and hanging out with her beautiful furry blonde Honey to send me varying comments.  They range from just for the hell of its to a bit of encouragement when needed.

Mel of Mel's Way or No Way is a total rock star of words.  She totally knows just the right thing to say :) and for that I'm completely grateful. She gets brownie points for having Wild Blue in the fridge, even if it's her other half drinking it and not her... CHEERS!!!

2 Moms with a plan makes me smile.  She's very very REAL and I like that.  I can appreciate anyone who is as brutally honest in her own emotions as I am in mine... does that make sense?

Snooker is one of the most witty folks I "know"... she's across the pond in Germany and intellectually stimulating.... I really enjoy it when she makes up definitions for the Captcha words, lol.

Small Town Dyke is all inspiring.  A poet in her own right and a core made of the purest "good" imaginable, in my opinion.

Asphalt Cowboy (though slacking here lately in the posting new blogs department, lol) keeps it short but sweet... sometimes a great deal can be said with very few words... I haven't mastered this art, lol.

Helen of Feeding a Family of Five for Fifty still rocks... though I'm not going to lie...I've had to pace myself in reading her blogs because of the awesome recipes and pictures of food... I'm scared my licking of the computer screen is going to permanently damage my computer... lol

Dawg... wow... what is there to even say here... I felt so honored to have her as a follower, lol.  I'm a big ol dork... but she's kind of my hero, there's not much more to say beyond that... TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!!! HAHA.

Propane Amy is a "newbie" to my blog but is so freakin' insightful it often forces me to step back and have a "whoa" get out of my head moment.  She has a way of putting things in perspective while being encouraging and just down right fabulous.

Queen of Ruckus, also a newbie but that does not subtract from her fabulosity, lol.  She's been through and is still going through something I'm working on and therefore her comments mean the world to me right now.  Knowing that she's a success when I feel like I'm on the verge of failure, helps keep me going.

I appreciate everything--even if I'm a slacker in responding to comments... I'm going to try and get better in that department, I PROMISE.  I apologize if I forgot anyone... I'm trying to get to bed--I have an early morning tomorrow.  Please forgive me ahead of time if I did.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YA'LL

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Cotton, movies, beer, and fire....

It's about that time.  They are plowing the fields and busting ass trying to get everything harvested in time.  The cotton is blossoming as well:




What a week.  What a week.  I survived though.  I decided to go see a movie at Jen's theatre...I took mom, Uncle John, and Aunt Melissa with me.  I wanted to see how Jen would react, so I played up the femme in me. I showed up at her theatre where she was hustlin' because it was a busy Friday night....(she looked great as always and I have to admit, seeing her in that take charge environment is always a turn on, lol)  This is what I opted for femme wise...


My hair is long enough in the front and on top to actually use a straightening iron on...crazy.




We watched Couples Retreat with Vince Vaughn, which was freaking hilarious, but didn't beat out The Hangover as my favorite movie this year... afterwards we headed to a sports bar and grille for a beer.  I had talked the fam into this prior to leaving the house and they were game.  Uncle John is always game (he used to go with me to the Lipstick Lounge, a lesbian bar in Nashville, TN for drinks on the weekend)... so a sports bar doesn't even phase him.  He likes getting out.  Mom and aunt melissa aren't old bitties but have their moments. 

Aunt Melissa agreed to be the DD for the evening.... we started drinking, we stuck to a pitcher of Michelob Ultra, nothing too crazy, plus lower in carbs and did our first toast to me graduating, which was cool.  Jen stopped by for a minute (she couldn't stay because she had to pick up lil man from the sitter).... well three pitchers later we were feeling fabulous.  I'm going to have schedule a celebration evening where Jen can participate and drink too ;)... I walked Jen to her car and didn't realize how buzzed I was until I yanked her hair to pull her face to me for a kiss and did it a lil too rough and totally caught Jen off guard.  But I digress.

We decided to head out to my brothers house--he was having a bon fire.  By this time I had a nice buzz and mom and John were toasted, lol.  The fire wasn't really burning because the wood he was using was entirely too green... piss poor planning, lol... that didn't keep me from taking pics and drinking a few more beers... My mom like NEVER drinks.... she took my camera and took a pic of herself and I almost pissed my pants when I was flipping through my camera looking at the pics I took and found this one:



How could I not love this lady.


Uncle John's drunk ass... my goofy ass, and my lil brother Jeff.


 

For us to have been drinking, this pic turned out pretty good.


 

Me and Uncle John...


 

Needless to say, mom slept hard (aka passed out) last night...


 

Me and Karen (Jeffrey's Girlfriend) I like her best in very small amounts :)


 

Can we discuss the fact that my brother is drinking out of a freaking Mason Jar... seriously dude... does it get anymore country than that????

Tomorrow is a trip to the Peanut Fest...if it's not raining.... for now... more sleep is on the agenda.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bend over and grab your ankles

I walked into work hell this morning.  In the middle of checking the voicemail to see how many call outs I had, one of the supervisors called my cell.  The conversation went like this:

Her: Um, whats the deal with all of these people being here?
Me: You told me yesterday at 2:30 that you wanted every one of your people here
Her: So the calls didn't get made?
Me: Why would I make calls if you told me everyone was working?
Her: I sent an email to B (my boss) yesterday at 3:00 telling her that I only needed four people and gave her the names.
Me: She is in Chesapeake, I'm right here in the warehouse--it's easy to overlook an email, I'm here until four every day so that I can make calls and line up ya'lls staffing needs, I can't do that if ya'll don't tell me
Her: Well, I'm going to send them up there to you then

Essentially, the expectation is that if any of my contractors report to work, they should get paid for/given 4 hours of work.  (This almost never happens) If they tell me ahead of time, I call my contractors the evening before so they don't waste gas coming to work when the volume isn't there to support them being there.  So today, I had a handful of people come in, only to get sent home which left me looking like an ass for leaving my guys hanging.  It pissed me off first thing.

So needless to say at the 8:45 (the daily meeting because this place has more fucking meetings than any company I've ever seen, it's a wonder that anything fucking gets done) I made the announcement reminding all of the sups that I can't help them if they don't communicate to me what they need as far as staffing then I can't help them.  Then I reminded them that B works at the main office, I'm right here on sight...Please email her as a back up, but you have to tell me or it's not going to happen.

Then to cover my own ass, I went to the Assistant General Manager's office...He's second in command for the whole damn Distribution center....I explained to him that I was told 30 minutes prior to said email going out that everyone was expected to be here.  I also mentioned that I hold myself accountable in ensuring their success by having my people there... but I feel like they aren't accountable in their ho hum attitude and lack of urgency in providing me with their staffing needs.

FUCK! MY GIRL ASHLEY JUST GOT VOTED OFF TOP CHEF LAS VEGAS, fuck.  Another lesbo down....

My bad... lemme focus... one of the girls at work put in her notice.  I was talking with Field Hockey (whose hair I actually cut tonight)... and she was like would you considering doing her position?  It's HR Assistant for the DC... My instinct says no.  I'm tired of the bullshit, not just with the staffing company I work for, but the client company as well.  Not to mention, it would in a way look like I was backtracking resume wise because it would be a step or two backwards in my opinion.  I would like the HR side of things, and have to start somewhere but...I dunno.  She asked me if I had talked to Jen about it yet to get her opinion...

Me: No, Not yet
Her: Dude, that's what relationships are for, not just sex....sometimes in talking to people you find they have insights into things that can help you
Me: OMG it's not like I was never going to talk to her...I just haven't yet...I'm working, I'm busy, she's working, she's busy
Her: laughs....

I just thought it was funny that she would say some shit like that... Cheerleader finally announced that shes pregnant again.  I think she's about 11 weeks along and is already eating crazy. 

On a random note, Chino kitty is freaking out and meowing nonstop missing Gma.  Gma is coming home tomorrow night so he'll be set then....he loves gma because she feeds him junkfood all the time. 

My sister Mandi told me this evening not only did her soon to be ex husband's lawyer retire (as in put a sign up on the door and said peace out, didn't refer any of his clients or anything) but he called her today to tell her that her lawyer had called him ... he said that he hadn't gone to pick anything up yet, Mandi asked why...he apparently fell off a building and broke both of his legs.

Holy fuck.  If ya'll knew the whole story it's safe to say that you would be shocked as to the wrath that karma is bringing his way... damn.

Fuck, it's late...I need to pack a bag and get ready for the dentist tomorrow afternoon and then to Jen's... at least I won't be up late...since I made arrangements for pepper I'll be able to crash there...and in theory right after lil man goes to bed...  I'm tired and it's been a long week.

I'll have equipment training again this Friday... Fuck.  Come on Saturday morning....

Oh and on my lunch break I ran into my ex-best friend's cousin.  She's all grown up now and there is no way in hell that she's not a member of the all girls team.... this is humorous to me because my ex-BF was a total homophobe back in the day (I don't know if she still is or not)... lil things like that make me happy.

Cost Plus World Market is having a friends and family event this weekend where you can save 25% off of everything except like alcohol I believe.  I obviously can't get the lil coupon to everyone in that amount of time, but if anyone wants the online discount code, just let me know... I'll send you the info... how sad is it that I work in one of the two distros for this compnay and have never been in a store...maybe I'll go this weekend.  They are kind of like a Pier One Imports ON CRACK... lol

Monday, October 5, 2009

Three down

Dancing with the stars is a guilty pleasure of mine.  So is Wipeout...the big balls crack me up every time. I don't stress if I miss an episode of anything...I'm rooting for Kelly Osbourne just because I like her...lol.  Top Chef Las Vegas is also a fave of mine...the gays are dropping like flys...gonna need to step it up.

Chino is licking my head raw.  I'm finally back at home....peace and quiet, no grandma until Thursday night (which Translates into Friday because I'll be at Jen's watching lil man Thursday night.)  Chino kitty is happy to see me to say the least... he likes to groom me, which is weird and it hurts..his tongue is brutal on my scalp... but anyway...

Mom, aunt melissa, mandi and the baby are home now...I just got the phone call YAY...

I went to my weight watchers meeting tonight.  I'm stoked and excited about this venture still...and HELLO...I dropped 3.2 pounds since my nervous break down at the doctor's office on Wednesday....FUCK YEAH :) SCORE.

I just got a couple of emails from my bosses boss...(the big boss) he has invited me to two different functions, to make up for the forgetting to invite me to everything else... which I appreciate but don't feel the need to participate because I didn't have a hand in the recognition that they are celebrating.  His wife is going to cook dinner next wednesday for me (if i go), my boss, and one of the recruiters ... I'm going to decline I think for the simple fact that I don't want to seem rude for not eating something that she makes because of counting points... Its not like going to a restaraunt or a close personal friends house (one who would understand...) I dunno...just weird.

The other event is a free happy hour event....company paid booze...now that one I might go for...lol... something about free beer and Va Tech football and I'm not there.... I can keep myself amused with alcohol while the game is on, ha.  In December is the Christmas party.  It's in Norfolk so if I still work there then, I'm going to get Jen and I a room so we can both get sloppy drunk and have dirty kinky sex without the chance of a dui, yay responsibility.

I clench my jaw when I sleep and grind my teeth.... I wake up with my jaws just a hurtin.  Well this morning when I woke up I had broken a tooth in my sleep from my normal clenching.  That makes the second one.  I go to the dentist later this week for a cleaning and so they can look at the damage and get it fixed.

I finally paid the balance on my school account...no more money going to them anytime soon. I've essentially been financially and academically ass raped... but I get a piece of paper to make up for it... the proverbial bandaid I suppose.

Pepper is happy to be home on her own... she plays well with others, but definitely likes one on one time with me in her own territory.  She and Chino Kitty did a lil happy dance when they saw each other... my kids are great.

Speaking of the kids, lil man said something that made me so proud.  Jen called so that they could tell me that he was playing with his transformer blaster thing I found him at the thrift store and he looked over to his Kung Fu Panda and handed it to her, saying, "Mom, I wanna give this to the thrift store so someone else can have it." He said the same thing about one of his bakugan toy... I'm stoked to see that he's putting two and two together and learning about donating stuff so early... he totally wanted someone else to have a cool toy like the one he got from the thrift store.... I could just pinch his cheeks right now... and Jen's too since she's raising such a good kid...

It kills me that Chuck Lidell from UFC is dancing this season....

I refuse

I refuse to be stressed today.
I refuse to allow them to get the best of me.
I refuse to find solace in soda in chocolate...
I refuse to let their annoying ways wear on me
I refuse to acknowledge anything other than a working relationship
I refuse to continually ask myself why and how, when it's obvious the answer is above my rank...
I refuse to let these fuckers knock me down
I refuse to let them win
I refuse to relinquish control
I refuse
I refuse

A typical monday at work.  I came in and before seven a.m. had fired two people for violating our No call no show policy...had another person quit because she knew I was going to fire her today for falling short on the accuracy expectations, and two people went permanent with the client company, which I totally support.

It was discovered, after delivering my two new starts to their assigned areas in the distribution center that the one contractor I had that was told to not come to work (by me, at the client's request) ended up being because they just didn't feel she was going to cut it.  Really, you had me coach her one time then stopped calling her in, how are we supposed to know whether or not the coaching and developing session worked if you aren't going to give her the chance.  Fuckers.

Then when talking to my boss about all of this, she tells me that she had talked to the Ops manager in relation to this matter and that he is now going to send her emails everytime they want me to coach someone (as if to say, they had requested this girl get coached multiple times and I just didn't do it.)  Fucking Fuckers.

Today is the weigh in and I'm not trying to be stressed because that always tends to lead to chocolate and soda to make me feel better.  I don't have time for mood eating... I'm not craving anything now, so I'm sure venting the way I have today will be conducive to my success... I just don't understand how these fuckers are in the positions they are in... ignorant assholes is what they are.... a bunch of damn dirty dumpster cunts.

SCREAM....and release....

I've got coachings to do now...oh so many coachings.  I'm only one person.  What the fuck do they want me to do.  Please, send an email to my boss... I'm doing everything I'm supposed to and I relay that info to her... you'll be the jackasses in the long run... piss poor management my friends, piss poor management.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Step Right up...

Step right up...step right up...take the grand tour...Tommy's head.... OH FUCK, BAIL OUT BAIL OUT...

1. There are these gnarly barn spider type evil creatures that love my moms house... the front porch, the back porch, walk ways...doesn't matter they just love this area.  Freaks me out.  These creepy breeds in particular have this exoskeleton type thing that looks like armor that nothing would be able to destroy.  they are like 8 legged crabs... minus the pinchers... of course I haven't been close enough to rule this out.... the point is there there is this one on the back porch in particular.  I've seen it, out in the open plenty of times...especially in the evening.  It's web is beautiful...like few I've seen before.... it's odd I'm freaked out by the spider itself, but I respect it's art.  I can say this because it's web, beautiful as it may be is well out of my walk way so I haven't walked through it... THANK GOD... the moral of the story is,  I feel like if I were to just walk up to it and smoosh it with a flip flop, rock, or small child...then karma will certainly kick my ass... I say that now...if I were walk through a web of any sort, I will not hesitate in going on a killing spree on my way to cardiac arrest.... Fuck.

2. I watched Adventureland--good movie...I'm watching Away we go now... I like it so far (no it gets funnier and funnier as I watch it...).... Friday night I watched Management with Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn...pretty good in my opinion.

3. I miss my dad.  Like I'm not super close to him, ya know...I love that he thinks its so hilarious that the only thing we have in common is that we both eat pussy, HA.  And I never get tired of hearing about how he broke his nose muff diving... but I miss having him around.  I guess it's appropriate to say I miss his presence.  I miss him riding on his Harley and just loving life in general.  He's somewhere now...maybe still Germany now... I don't think he's in kosovo yet... but I dunno... might be one of those if I did know, he'd have to kill me type things, lol.

4. I'm in the mood for another tattoo.  If I had the money and new where I wanted to be career wise, I'd have sleeves of them... I think maybe I'll make it a point to get another tattoo after I hit x amount of weight loss.  I dunno, sounds good but I always find a reason to get one when i have extra money, lol.

5. I finally finished my resume...last thursday to be exact.  I didn't show it to anyone for their opinion or to make changes... I just did it.  AND I applied for the job with the City of Suffolk that I want.  I dunno, at this point, I guess we'll just have to see.  I need to get my ass motivated and update my resume and the multitude of job search engines out there...just start looking... who am I kidding, i need to figure out what the fuck I want to do...not too much longer and the damn student loans will be due. Fuck.

6. I got a letter from school yesterday, i figured it was going to be a bill for the $125 I owe... blah... I need to pay that tomorrow, but they are impossible to get ahold of here lately...and I refuse to drive over there to pay it... nah man... not happening. Anyway, it was a letter saying that I did a great job and got honor roll...HA... seriously, I'm such a fucking dork.  I'm book smart, but I struggle in the real world...I'm not incapable, I just havent had the opportunity to really shine or use my brain... eh... I dunno.

7.  So this movie, Away we go... may end up being my new favorite movie.  Couples Retreat releases on Friday... Vince Vaughn... yeah I'm there. :)

8. My brother stopped by moms house last night. I was getting ready to put lil man in the bath tub... He wreaked up pot and was high out of his mind... I was jealous... Not even kidding.  Lol.  I would love to have a job where

9. Have I mentioned I love love LOVE wild blue, blueberry lager.... can i get a hell yeah for a beer buzz...lol. I feel like such a rebel, drinking beer on a sudnday night when I should be going to bed early...watching movies, drinking beer and just saying fuck it.... hehe

10. I want to travel, I want to go somewhere... not just the beach...I mean that's always a safe escape... I need to win the lottery so I can afford to travel.  I want to get my doctorate...and be a college professor.... that's my dream.  I want to end up somewhere like Maine, or Oregon or Washington State.... Montreal, Toronto, somewhere great grand and wonderful, no screaming on the bus. I want to see all kinds of stuff...I will eventually... and I'm lucky to have a wonderful woman to see them with...

11. I love jen. next month will be our year.  It's funny... I remember that first message from her on myspace of all things, lol.  I couldn't figure out what the deal was... I couldn't tell if she was gay or straight from her profile...(turns out she can't be openly gay at work so she didn't have that info posted...) I saw pics of her from her wedding, but no groom... I knew she was a mom, so I figured she just wanted to make friends or somethign being new to the area... lol. I was so in denial.  I mean how could I not just figure it out from a beautiful woman telling me that I was beautiful, lol... I'm so clueless sometimes.  I remember the first time I hung out with her and wanted to kiss her so badly but didnt... she smelled so wonderful.... I remember I was working second shift, I got to her house about midnight and she was in her pjs... these long black knit yoga style pants, a spaghetti strap tank top that made her boobs look FUCKING AWESOME, lol... and a hoodie... she had her glasses on and I remember I couldn't stop focusing on her lips...she bites her lip when she's nervous and she practically gnawed it off that night.  There I was... fidgety as hell, in jeans and my normal navy blue polo...boring... Who knew... lol... who knew.

12. Jen has great boobs... lol a wonderful ass and is just a total package.  I love her... and I love lil man too...

13. Okay my buzz is winning right now...I should probably stop before I start drunk blogging... Good night all...LETS HAVE A KICK ASS WEEK, OKAY?  What's on ya'lls agenda?

Blueberries and Cuddle bugs

It's been a decent weekend. I enjoyed myself. Grandma made it to Holden Beach safely.  I'm going to hell because I let her tell me via voicemail rather than actually answering my phone when it rang.  I know I know... but just the sound of her voice often sends me over the edge.  I didn't want to fuck up a perfectly good Saturday.

I got to sleep in and relax the first part of the day. Then, I picked up lil man and took him to the library.  After checking out numerous books about dinosaurs we were walking out and he proclaims, "Tommy, That place is AWESOME...."  I had to smile.  We rented some movies and then I unveiled a few toys that I had found for him at my favorite thrift store (the DAV where all the proceeds go to the Disabled American Veterans...) Retail therapy for a good cause works for me anytime :) I had found him a leap frog computer thing for three bucks to help him with his ABCs, it only needed batteries--SCORE!!!

I also found an 18 wheeler whose trailer held about sixty hot wheels, thirty or so on each side...again, only about four bucks....SWEET...but the winner was the transformer robot arm I found for him.  A normally forty dollar toy, where your hands slides inside and one way it looks like a jet, then you pull this little handle and it transforms into a robot arm with rocket launchers or blasters or something, pretty bad ass and a score for THREE DOLLARS!!! He was stoked.  He was like where did you get it and I told a thrift store and he was like OH MY GOD I LOVE THRIFT STORES, LOL.

Today, Jen and I got up and got lil man ready and went to her sister theatre in Norfolk to see a double feature of Toy Story and Toy Story 2 in 3D...in truth my first real 3D experience.  It's not the kind these days with the red and blue glasses....this is like high tech shit.  So much that with the sugar I decided to splurge the majority of my points on today (yeah right, I opted to take the repercussions and not really count points today but I didn't go too crazy but I digress)...the movie in 3D ended up giving me motion sickness and I had to sprint to the bathroom...luckily i made it...though who's a fan of puking in public.  Dreadful. Overall a good time, despite getting sick---I enjoyed an afternoon with Jen and lil man which always rocks.

On the way back home we went to a thrift store that I don't go to often because of how far out it is.  Lil man found a few bakugan toys for a buck or so a piece so he's really learning early that Thrift stores are great places :) He knows that I'm not made out of money nor his is mom ...so it's good to be able to spoil him on a budget haha.  I did make sure to explain to him that if he got in trouble for not listening whether on the bus or at school or at his mom's house that I would be taking all of the toys away... he knows I mean biznazz... He's not a bad kid...just a boy. lol.

The best part is how we pull up in the parking lot and he announces he has to pee.  Of course after we asked him if he needed to go before we left the theatre and he said no.  I knew we weren't going to make it find a bathroom so I told Jen to let him go right there in the parking lot with us forming a barrier and prevent our arrest... Well I didn't know that he had to go so bad that the stream would be immediate....it shot out at knee level with extreme force....FUCK...I tried to turn him in the right direction and got hit in the ankle with piss...Jen got hit across the bottom of her jeans, which made me laugh hysterically and in the process of trying to get him situated he peed on the inside of my mom's versa...which Jen and I had borrowed for a change of vehicles, lol...what can i say we are easily amused.  I think I've created a monster...I remember the first weekend I spent with lil man by myself...I let him pee outside... I guess because deep down I've always wanted to be able to pee standing up wherever I was... yes my name is Tommy and I have penis envy... heh.

Well I decided after Jen and lil man left to clean the entire downstairs of my mom's house including doing everyone's laundry...they are coming home from Kentucky tomorrow night... I've decided to remind my mom that I'm her favorite...HAHA. No, seriously, I just wanted to help them out and make it where it's one less thing they have to worry about.  Plus I'm going to use them this week to help me with Pepper...since I watched dogs for them this past week.  All part of my master plan. ;)

I heart blueberry lager...YAY Wild Blue.  Freaking awesome.  Good weekend. Good times.