and breathe

My boss opened my eyes again today. I didn't get in trouble and it pisses me off that most of the time my boss is right...but she essentially told me that she "wants to empathize with her contractors, but when it boils down to it its business." For me, I realized today that I'm too empathetic...too compassionate...I don't want to be the bad guy, though I am a bitch a lot of the time.  I have a guy that I'll be firing on Saturday at the end of the shift... I was thinking of giving him a heads up on Friday afternoon and let him know the final outcome and give him the option of Saturday off... I forgot the most important piece of the puzzle...if he doesn't work, my company (the staffing company that it is) then we don't make money...

I need to figure out where I want to be and work to get there... and I need to tighten up...I realize that I'm hard on myself ALOT... but I honestly feel like I'm losing ground where I'm at.  My boss as she was giving me an example said to me, "Hey, I could think you're awesome as a person every single day, but if you weren't performing where should be, I'd have to do what I'd have to do." Eww.

On a happier note I got an email today from a long lost friend. Lol.  My friend V is someone whom I've never officially met, but we've talked off and on for over two years I guess.  She works a lot and travels to cool places, is well rounded and just down right interesting.  Her parents, when they were living stayed in the country...she's a country girl (so we joke about crazy country type shit)... she knows about where I live (zuni) because she used to drive through it all the time.... she lives in Va Beach now.  I was really surprised to hear from her and I needed a break from my work day for a second.  She's moving to Africa here soon, so I doubt we'll get a chance to actually meet up and officially meet before she leaves, but still... good to be communicating with her again. 


I'm exhausted and I should have been asleep over an hour ago...but hello...it's Top Chef night and I don't feel like watching it on gma's tv later on because she's the one with a DVR....

I'm fighing off a sinus infection or something...hay fever maybe...my head has been pounding for a while now (three days) and i'm getting a cough among other things...I just want to sleep...It's going to be a sixty hour work week this week....at least i'm hourly and getting a shit ton of overtime.