A trip to follow Thanksgiving

So I get to take a trip the week after Thanksgiving which is exciting even though it's for work.  Since I run a manufacturing plan with only a few people...we get a little wiggle room as to when we want to take our holidays where Corporate doesnt because there are more people there.

For example: Thanksgiving is a paid holiday for the Thursday of, as well as the Friday following... two paid 8 hour days.  Well we work 10 hour days so we have to use 4 hours of personal time to get full checks (my guys do, not me because I'm salary, but you get the point)... our work week would normally be Monday through Thursday ten hour days.  We would usually work Monday and Tuesday be off Wednesday and Thursday for the holiday since we are off on Friday and Thursday is the holiday anyway...

(confused yet?) Well we decided as a group to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, be off Thursday for the holiday, be off our normal 3 day weekend and then be off Monday for the holiday--sweet right.

Well then I'm going to get on a plane from Norfolk and fly into Jacksonville, Fl where corporate is on Tuesday, sightsee a few hours, crash--go into the office for 8 hours for training on Wednesday, sightsee some more, crash, go into the office a half a day on Thursday, sightsee a little bit more... go back to the airport and fly back to Norfolk on Thursday evening, drive home and then start my three day weekend... such a rough couple of weeks that will be, lol. 

But here's the exciting part.  The executive assistant to the CEO told me what the closest hotel to the office was and a room there was like 140 bucks which is just absurd in my opinion even if it is on the company's dime.  So I went to hotwire and booked a room at: A Golf Resort with water views for $88 a night! Holler.

It's a 20 minute drive to the office, but considering I had to get a rental car anyway... no biggie--got one of those for like twenty bucks a day... OH YEAH! and my flight cost less than 250 bucks round trip... the company should soooooo thank for me for the money I'm saving them for this trip with like an extra night there just for fun like in the Summer time when I can really enjoy the water in Florida, lol. 

Sorry, I'm easily amused, can't help it.  I've already scoped out a local lighthouse to potentially visit...some sites for great photos and just some stuff to do to make the most of my visit... it's going to good stuff!!!

Facebook Free

My life has been friggin' fabulous since getting rid of Facebook, just thought Id share.

Hurricane season and life on the east coast

So Jen's mom called in a quasi-panic asking about the hurricane... she's still in Colorado where Jen is from and always gets worried when we have hurricanes roll in. 

This was after I got a text from Jen asking if we had our hurricane supplies (my first thought being... what the hell are hurricane supplies... yes, you'd think that spending all of my 31 years on the east coast I'd know all of this by now, but I never think about it... and the fact that 26 of those 31 years have been spent about 45 minutes inland of Va Beach oceanfront and prime hurricane territory... but I suppose that since I'm so used to them its no big deal.

I guess it's like places where it snows all the time... like Minnesota--I'm sure folks there don't freak out everytime they see a snowflake... ya know....

So anyway, the really awful part of this story and the detail that makes me a really awful and out of touch person is the fact that Jen mentioned a hurricane the other day and called it by name, "Sandy" and I was like, "Sandy? We're in the "S"s already, where the hell have I been?" I really had no idea...

I really should start watching the news.  But the news is so depressing...hell even the weather part of it.  I'd rather be surprised... carry around my super big gay rainbow umbrella and just keep on truckin'...

I dunno...

What makes things different for me now is that my parents are retired officially and now living down on Hatteras Island, past Rodanthe in Salvo, NC... where just last year during Hurricane Irene their beach house was ruined and had to be gutted and they were just able to move into it...

They didn't evacuate for it... and part of hwy 12 has been compromised...other portions had already been closed off because of water and sand in the road... I checked www.obxconnection.com message boards and have seen pictures of houses at Mirlo Beach (previous home of Serendipity--the house they used in the movie "Nights in Rodanthe" with Richard Gere...but later moved because it was going to fall into the ocean...) about to, or falling into the ocean.... 

This stuff is crazy... they are getting hit with the worst of it now.  We've just been getting a lot of rain...no wind yet... So tomorrow morning, I'll set my alarm for earlier than four to give me extra time to coax the dogs out into the "swamp" of a front yard and then inch my way down the back roads to the interstate and just go from there...

I talked to mom earlier, I let her know that they already cancelled schools tomorrow so lil man is out... and in the conversation she mentioned how she had to put on her hip waiters (that she'd normally use to go sound fishin or surf fishin if it's super cold, lol) just to walk to dog today.... i had to laugh because if she was going to all that trouble to stay dry then what about Earl, her dog...he's just a miniature schnauzer.... can he breathe under water and pee at the same time?

Still impressed by R E Bradshaw

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had just discovered an author named R. E. Bradshaw.  She's a lesbian fiction writer and pretty good.  Well I had decided to read another one of her books to see if I really like her stuff or to see if the first one I had read had just been a fluke.  So far she's two for two.  I didn't like the second one as much as the first, but I still liked it. 

I read Waking Up Gray a couple of weeks ago and this weekend read, The Girl Back Home.  I like her style over all.  I've started reading Sweet Carolina Girls now... so lets see how that one turns out and if I keep reading on a rampage or start pace myself...lol...

I'm getting back into a writing my random thoughts face--working on my book eventually again and i have some paintings that i need to start and others I need to finish...lots of projects on the fire right now.

For now though--I'm kind of a fan of distraction via lesbian fiction... my other projects will still be there when i get around to them...that's whats so awesome about procrastination. :)

the irony of it

I had been having the worst bout with headaches imaginable for well over a month and a half.  I take a medication for migranes (despite it being used for other things... it comes in handy since I don't generally have headaches), so with me having these god awful headaches nonstop all the time I was beginning to get concerned to say the least. 

They got so bad sometimes that when I moved my headI had to freeze mid-movement because of the throbbing, shooting pain made me feel like i was going to black out.  I had to keep funtioning so I just kind of got used to having a permanent headache and started making jokes about it probably being a brain tumor and kept it moving.

A couple of weeks ago I started considering the possibility of it being sinus related or something.  I had to consider any possiblity so that they would go away. They headache spanned from my eyeballs across the top of my head  and down the base of my neck... it was insane. 

Well the turn of events came when I woke up last Monday and had toothache from hell.  Like to the point that I wanted to pull all of my teeth out on the right side of my mouth out myself with no novacaine, and I considered it for real.  I went to work as usual because I had to do payroll for the guys and ensure everyone's time was submitted for the payweek that friday... well as soon as that was done and 8:00 am rolled around (4 fucking hours after I woke up with this issue...longest 4 hours of my life) I went to my insurance website to locate the closest dentist to my house (opted for the house rather than work because I figured the odds of getting in at a "country" dentist were way more likely than one in "civilization" such as Chesapeake...)

I lucked up and the first one I called had an opening for the very next day at 8:30...

I called my boss and was approved to take a sick day, emailed corporate so they could put in my sick day time and all that jazz, slept in three and a half hours and then headed off to the little po-dunk dentist that actually ended up being pretty high tech as far as the x-ray machine went...

So anyway... the xray showed nothing wrong with my teeth and i looked at the dentist and was going off in my head about 'what the fuck do you know you backwoods quack (which is pretty fucking crazy since I've been raised in the country my entire life, doesn't make me an ignorant rednect like all these folks out here, lol--lucky for me, it's not contagious, just like me being a lesbian isn't contagious to them...hahahah) but anyway...

I was like they what the hell is wrong because its making my entire head hurt doc... he feels my jaw and informed me that i was having a muscle spasm in my jaw on the right side...yes... a mother fucking CHARLIE HORSE IN MY JAW...have you ever heard of such a thing... Had the hygenist not been non-stop talking to me about her bible study and choir this and choir that and almost past out when I used the word pissed I would have sooooo taken the opportunity to point out the irony and total humor in the fact that there was a big ol lesbo sitting there with basically a case of lockjaw---HAHAHAHAH.... how random is it to get a charlie horse in your jaw... either way they suck.

After a week of "mouth stretches" long showers with hot water beating down on it, and hot compresses, no charlie horse and no headaches...good grief!!!

A new addition... The boxer

We have a new addition to our "non-traditional" family... He is a bed hog, farts in his sleep and looks like an old man... His name is Ruca (pronounced roo-ca like a cow goes moo). His previous owner had a 2 month old baby, an 8 and 9 year old and a navy husband who always seemed deployed.... So he was headed to a shelter... Instead he was placed at Rainbow casa lol... Pepper is getting used to him and pouting quite a bit, Lil man loves him, Jen adores him, I think he's great but worry about pepper... He is 3 and already house broke crate trained and neutered oh and did I mention awesome and cute as hell? Take a look for yourself... He's never been to the country or had this much space to run he is loving life...

new book

OMG!!!!

I found a new book that I'm in love with and an author that I may become obsessed with...we'll see once I read another one of her books, lol. 

I read Waking Up Gray by R. E. Bradshaw and it was phenomenal. 

You see, what had happened was: I was down at the beach at my parents house (because they are officially retired now and living in Salvo, NC on Hatteras Island, NC--my favorite place in the entire world) and I decided to find a couple of new books to download to my kindle app on the Ipad while down there and using their wifi since I don't have internet in the country...

I think I may have searched under lighthouses or something, can't remember but I'm glad i came across it because this book was incredible.  It takes place on Ocracoke Island, NC (which is the island down past Hatteras that you have to take the ferry to get to that I go to occassionally, but only on day trips...) and this forty year old woman goes down for a few month sabatical to finish her thesis, but gets distracted by her neighbor... that just so happens to be an attractive lesbian...

Amazon's description is much better:

Can you start your life over at forty? Lizbeth Jackson was about to find out. She found her first gray hair on the morning of her trip to Ocracoke Island, off the coast of North Carolina. Lizbeth was about to begin a three month sabbatical, on the scenic coastal island, in order to finish her Master's thesis in Linguistic Anthropology. She plans to study the Carolina Brogue spoken there. What she ends up studying is her lesbian neighbor across the street and the uncontrollable pull Lizbeth feels toward her. Lizbeth Jackson is about to find out what life has to offer, after waking up gray.

Let's just say that it kept my OCD anal ass on the couch from start to finish reading it...dishes piled up, laundry didn't get done, I didn't care...I just wanted to read this book...I just really liked it.  Check it out.  She has several other books, I've got to do a little research to figure out what order to read them in...

an ode to the woman I love...

I can’t remember what inspired the conversation or what show we were watching but Jen wanted to know what my favorite story to tell people about her is… I went blank.  I have a lot of favorite stories—it doesn’t necessarily mean that any of them are appropriate for just everyday conversation.  I have several stories specific to just her, or just lil man, the first time we did “this or that” or that time when… a plethora of memories that could be spewed from my mind trap at any given time, except apparently when put on the spot by my partner looking for heartfelt sentiment and a little something to make her feel loved…  it’s a real shame that I went blank and had to play it off and say that really I don’t talk to anyone which is the truth… I don’t have many friends these days and those that I do talk to already know those stories so I don’t tell my “favorite” stories regularly…

So in no particular order here are some of my favorite Jen stories/moments/memories

I took Jen down to the Outer Banks, NC for her first time a few months after we started dating.  We officially were an item as of November 8^th, 2008.  I was fresh out of a rebound relationship with a forty something “child” after a two year relationship that was a nonstop break up make up fight/cry fest… Jen wasn’t too long out of her first lesbian relationship where her heart had for a lack of better words been ripped to shreds (all of this following a divorce)…  fast forward Jen’s transfer from Colorado to Virginia for work, she met me and off we went.

 A weekend trip planned to my favorite place in the world.  Somewhere I’ve gone every year of my life several times a year since I was born—sharing that with a woman I was falling in love with.  I was taking her to Hatteras Island—Salvo to be specific.  My parents had a house there.  Not one of those fancy schmancy houses, it was a one story simple house that was built in the fifties and used to belong to my grandparents, but I digress.

One thing that had bothered me a little since Jen and I started dating was that she had a necklace she wore that had been given to her by her ex.  I couldn’t understand wearing something that was still tied to an ex, to me it was just bad “juju” but I realized that she had to work past those demons on her own, in her own time.

I prepared Jen the best I could with how wonderful the beach/ocean was, but secretly hoped I hadn’t oversold it to the point she’d be disappointed. I mean, she’s from Colorado, some folks are all mountains and snow and just don’t get down with sand and water… I explained to her about how when you get past Grandy, NC, usually near Wright Memorial Bridge—the air changes and your worries and cares begin to wash away.  By the time you get to the actual island you barely have any issues left and once you get your feet in the sand… nothing matters.  You’re on island time, the salt air, sea breeze, sun, smells, everything combined—nothing matters except what you want to. 

My most proud and exciting moment was when Jen rolled down her window when we hit the second bridge along our way, the Oregon Inlet bridge—this particular bridge is much taller and longer than the first one to get onto the Outer Banks.. she put down the window unexpectedly, but I just figured she was taking in the smells… Nope she had taken the necklace off so she could toss it into the Atlantic Ocean to never be seen again.  She freed herself from her ex and all the ties that lingered.

I took her to the see the ocean for the first time, feel the sand in her toes for the first time, see the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse for the first time---a plethora of first times and my favorite part was her timing… she had pitched the “bad juju” well before Rodanthe—marking a completely untainted fresh start for the two of us.  Incredible.

Another of my favorite memories was when I was my second time meeting her.  We met through myspace.com back in the day when myspace was cool and started talking just as friends.  It was kind of screwed up considering that I was in a relationship with this older chick, laying next to her but thinking about this chick Jen (who I didn’t really know but loved talking to and couldn’t get out of my friggin’ head)… but anyway…  The first time I met her, I worked 2^nd shift so I got off at 11:30 pm and went to her town house—she was wearing yoga pants, had a tank top with a zip up fitted hoodie zipped enough to show cleavage, long hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and smelled like something I wanted to have my face buried in, lol… omg it was soooo hard to behave.  Jen kept biting her bottom lip and I wanted to walk over and bite it for her.  She kept tugging at her hoodie and drawing attention to her boobs—such a total tease.  I didn’t kiss her that night, I did give her a hug, but I texted her later and told her that I wanted to kiss her some kind of bad and thought about turning my truck around just to kiss her… but I behaved… and stood my ground on that one… (I can’t quite recall why)

The second meeting was at her work.  She managed a movie theatre and I took my friend Julie and a couple other friends to see Twilight or some other dumb movie and I was sooooo nervous…. It was ridiculous.  I’ve never had a great deal of game, but I mean Jen has always had me out of sorts… but in a good way.  When I saw her this time I almost fell the hell out.  She had her hair down and she had straightened it… it was half way down her back…she had a her business clothes on (as was the dress code for her job back then) and her glasses…which I love… I think about that often…

I’ve since given her several makeovers got rid of her super long hair got her used to pretty short hair and got rid of her “fake lesbo” acrylic nails…because lets face it those things are just not conducive to the lifestyle, lol…

My all time favorite was the look on her face when I introduced her as my girlfriend or my partner, no matter where I was—at all times, I never hid who she was… she wasn’t used to that.  In her other relationship she was “closeted”… not in this one… I’ve helped her come out quite a bit and granted she’s still not nearly as out as I am, but compared to her past, it’s like going from John Doe on the gay scale to Ellen Degeneres on the scale… I dunno if that makes sense or not, but hey, it makes sense to me and well that’s all that damn matters…

The moral of the story is there are plenty of stories that I love to think about Jen—not all that I necessarily share all the time, but none of which I should have gone blank on when Jen needed some reassurance the most… tisk tisk tisk.

Step One: Deactivate Facebook

I've taken the first step in what I feel like will help me feel better, be better, and just "be" for that matter.  Facebook takes up entirely too much of my time.

I had 243 "friends," of which I maybe had 15 that commented on the regular or actually even noticed what I said.  I have to assume that there were at least 200 people that had hidden me from their news feed so that they wouldn't have to deal with my postings about anything LGBT...

This week was my breaking point.  In the height of all this Chick Fil-a crap and the arguing back and forth I go tired.  Really tired.  I had a friend who works there whose all up in arms because they didn't do anything wrong... a lot of folks tired of hearing about it, and some showing their support for those who are against Chick Fil-a now...

For me, it has nothing to do with Chicken and everything to do with rights.  At the end of the day, what does who I sleep with or call my partner have to do with anything? How do you figure that because I'm gay that I have no concept of family values? What difference does it make if couples are boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/boy or a cross somewhere in there? How does what I do behind closed doors at night affect you in anyway?

Again, it's not the chicken that has me pissed off.  It's the fact that so many people don't get it.  For me, boycotting Chick Fil-a is easy because well the last few times I ate there it wasn't as great as it used to be and I swore I was never going back anyway.... And it's not only Chick Fil-a who doesn't support gays, there are a lot more people, businesses, etc... but again I ask, what difference does it make who I love. 

How am I wrong? How are SOOOO many people wrong?  I hate that people still lose their jobs for their sexual orientations.  I hate that I can't plan a traditional wedding and do things like everyone else...

I hate the fact that I constantly have to stand up for and fight for what I feel is perfectly fine and natural.  I just don't get it.

SO anyway, how does this tie into Facebook? Well I got tired of arguing with my "friends" on this matter.  And this lady who was a "friend" (I've never met her but she's friends with my parents and enjoys looking at family pics or something) put up a picture of Samuel L Jackson pointing a gun that said, "Say Chick Fil-a One More Time", hey to each is own, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when I glanced at the comments below the pic she posted, she had people saying "OMG I know right, there are more important things going on in the world, like the Olympics" and she responded "I know, a lesbian daughter of friends is like freaking out and a coworker is blah blah blah" I don't remember it exactly after what she said about the lesbian daughter who well maybe isn't me, but I wasn't giving her the opportuntity to be "stressed out" by my posts when all she had to do was hide me from her newsfeed...I deleted her.

Then I started deleting everyone else that I'm not "real friends with" or that I haven't talked to in ten years etc... but that was taking too long, so I opted to just deactivate my account and not deal with the shit anymore.  I always preferred blogging anyway, but got sidetracked when I lost high speed internet and could more easily log into FB at work and spend two seconds putting a status in or seeing what people were up to...

I'm done.  I know there will always be people who think my lifestyle is wrong and that worries me.  I have an 8 year old in my life and I know that he will one day experience a rough time in school for having two moms... and well he himself may grow up and see that it doesn't fit what his father is teaching him through their religious beliefs and feel like his mom and I are disgusting...

I hope it never happens, but this is a reality.  At work a few people know I'm gay which means pretty much everyone does (it's a small place)... it hasn't been an issue to this point.  But I guess the reality of the matter will be when the Christmas Party rolls around and I take Jen with me.... I can't hide who I am and I just have to believe that one day people will have better things to worry about than who is in my bed with me and what kind of person that "makes me."

One day. I hope. Soon. And for those people that felt the "Olympics were more important" it's easy to say that because it doesnt affect them directly.  They can close their eyes at night and sleep peacefully next to their husband or wife and not be affected in the least little bit.

The rest of us are wondering how to overcome this, hell just survive it a lot of time.  Lose sleep thinking about how if they are in an accident or in a coma how their partner won't be allowed to make important decisions for them, or even be let into the room in some instances.  We are human just like everyone else...I'm not sure when gay and second class citizen became synonymous... but it's fucking ridiculous and these dark ages where religion and politics can't stay out of my bedroom need to go. 

My big gay rant

If I was around during the whole segregation thing I would have surely been killed for drinking out a water fountain that was for blacks only, or sitting on the wrong end of the bus just to piss someone off. 

If I was around when the whole women's rights movement was hot and heavy I would have surely had my ass beat by some randomly large oppressive man because I was too out of the box and belonged barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen...

And here I am, currently witness and part of the continuing gay rights movement.... and while I haven't been killed yet, I do hope to see a positive shift in things before I'm taken out by some ignorant homophobe who was offended by one of my rainbow tattoos or who didn't like the trail of glitter I leave behind (one of the side effects to being absolutely freaking fabulous and all) :)

Why are soooo many people soooo closed minded. 

You only think you're going to escape all of us while "we burn in hell," but in reality... we'll be saving that seat for your judgemental ass and well word on the street is there's no rules in hell... so pretty sure you'll end up being someone's gay bitch. Just saying.

I'm in the mood to fight. I want to stir shit up and make people uncomfortable with my beliefs.  I want to join forces with others that believe what I believe and shift everyone's views of gays, lesbians, bis, and transexuals.  I just want to know who died and made the conservatives boss. 

Who said, "hey dude, yeah you with that bible in your hand-- go forth and discriminate against gays and make their lives a living hell.  Ensure they never get the same rights as you because let's face it, if they do, then everything will go down hill from there."?

Being gay doesn't mean that I have some zombie flesh hungry virus that is contagious and leaves me lurking in the shadows to attack when you least expect it.  We don't have parties that are equivalent to Pampered Chef, Home Interiors, or whatever "hot home party" is trending right now (I guess that would mean the more straight people you could convert the more free gifts you'd get?) Dammit, what a shame, I've really been eyeballing that professional cookware set too....

While I don't know what inspired this post other than the fact that this situation pisses me off and makes me feel helpless and alone, I'm glad I was soo motivated.

People need to know that the GLBT community will not always remain in the "shadows" of your conservative ways and that eventually, we will have the same rights as the rest of ya'll.  It may not seem like it now, but the fact that blacks can sit anywhere on any bus they choose and eat in the same restaurants, and that women can now vote and go to work alongside of men (and sometimes even be their bosses, lmao) tells me that it's just a matter of time until gay rights are just something in the history books and that HUMAN RIGHTS WILL PREVAIL.

Dun dun dun...until next time... I'm out. (no pun intended).