Friday, August 3, 2012

Step One: Deactivate Facebook

I've taken the first step in what I feel like will help me feel better, be better, and just "be" for that matter.  Facebook takes up entirely too much of my time.

I had 243 "friends," of which I maybe had 15 that commented on the regular or actually even noticed what I said.  I have to assume that there were at least 200 people that had hidden me from their news feed so that they wouldn't have to deal with my postings about anything LGBT...

This week was my breaking point.  In the height of all this Chick Fil-a crap and the arguing back and forth I go tired.  Really tired.  I had a friend who works there whose all up in arms because they didn't do anything wrong... a lot of folks tired of hearing about it, and some showing their support for those who are against Chick Fil-a now...

For me, it has nothing to do with Chicken and everything to do with rights.  At the end of the day, what does who I sleep with or call my partner have to do with anything? How do you figure that because I'm gay that I have no concept of family values? What difference does it make if couples are boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/boy or a cross somewhere in there? How does what I do behind closed doors at night affect you in anyway?

Again, it's not the chicken that has me pissed off.  It's the fact that so many people don't get it.  For me, boycotting Chick Fil-a is easy because well the last few times I ate there it wasn't as great as it used to be and I swore I was never going back anyway.... And it's not only Chick Fil-a who doesn't support gays, there are a lot more people, businesses, etc... but again I ask, what difference does it make who I love. 

How am I wrong? How are SOOOO many people wrong?  I hate that people still lose their jobs for their sexual orientations.  I hate that I can't plan a traditional wedding and do things like everyone else...

I hate the fact that I constantly have to stand up for and fight for what I feel is perfectly fine and natural.  I just don't get it.

SO anyway, how does this tie into Facebook? Well I got tired of arguing with my "friends" on this matter.  And this lady who was a "friend" (I've never met her but she's friends with my parents and enjoys looking at family pics or something) put up a picture of Samuel L Jackson pointing a gun that said, "Say Chick Fil-a One More Time", hey to each is own, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when I glanced at the comments below the pic she posted, she had people saying "OMG I know right, there are more important things going on in the world, like the Olympics" and she responded "I know, a lesbian daughter of friends is like freaking out and a coworker is blah blah blah" I don't remember it exactly after what she said about the lesbian daughter who well maybe isn't me, but I wasn't giving her the opportuntity to be "stressed out" by my posts when all she had to do was hide me from her newsfeed...I deleted her.

Then I started deleting everyone else that I'm not "real friends with" or that I haven't talked to in ten years etc... but that was taking too long, so I opted to just deactivate my account and not deal with the shit anymore.  I always preferred blogging anyway, but got sidetracked when I lost high speed internet and could more easily log into FB at work and spend two seconds putting a status in or seeing what people were up to...

I'm done.  I know there will always be people who think my lifestyle is wrong and that worries me.  I have an 8 year old in my life and I know that he will one day experience a rough time in school for having two moms... and well he himself may grow up and see that it doesn't fit what his father is teaching him through their religious beliefs and feel like his mom and I are disgusting...

I hope it never happens, but this is a reality.  At work a few people know I'm gay which means pretty much everyone does (it's a small place)... it hasn't been an issue to this point.  But I guess the reality of the matter will be when the Christmas Party rolls around and I take Jen with me.... I can't hide who I am and I just have to believe that one day people will have better things to worry about than who is in my bed with me and what kind of person that "makes me."

One day. I hope. Soon. And for those people that felt the "Olympics were more important" it's easy to say that because it doesnt affect them directly.  They can close their eyes at night and sleep peacefully next to their husband or wife and not be affected in the least little bit.

The rest of us are wondering how to overcome this, hell just survive it a lot of time.  Lose sleep thinking about how if they are in an accident or in a coma how their partner won't be allowed to make important decisions for them, or even be let into the room in some instances.  We are human just like everyone else...I'm not sure when gay and second class citizen became synonymous... but it's fucking ridiculous and these dark ages where religion and politics can't stay out of my bedroom need to go. 

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