Moving up or moving on?

Moving can be so overwhelming, but I'm glad we have a place to go.  Jen and I are working as a team to knock out the packing and preparing... we rented a temperature controlled storage unit to put 97 percent of our belongings in... the other 3 percent will go with us to my mom and dads house in the country.  Lil man and Pepper will have plenty of room to run and play so that will be good... though Lil man will only be there a couple of weeks before he leaves for CO to see his grandparents and then in August begins his visitation with his dad and stepmom...

We still have a lot to pack and do, but we will get there... the storage place we picked has a truck they are letting us use for free for 8 hours (we're going to use that tomorrow) so we'll at least get all of the big stuff moved...) We have a ton of stuff that we are donating to the CHKD or Goodwill thrift store (whichever is closer)... we still need to pack up the kitchen... I need to box up my clothes... but overall I'd say we are more than half way there which is good stuff in my opinion.

I've got to take pepper to the vet in the morning--I took her the other day to get her nails trimmed (on account she acts so much better for them than she does for me... so it's easier on everyone) and they informed me that the only thing she's up to date on is her rabies, which doesn't have to be redone until next June... So 8am tomorrow they'll do all of her vaccines... a fecal test, heart worm test, EVERYTHING... by the time they do all that and I buy at least 6 months worth of heart worm pills I'll have spent at least 3 hundred bucks I figure... we'll see...

On a good note, Jen's interview went well, they are running her background check now and making her pee in a cup... there are a few other things to do, but they made her an offer... so we'll see how it all works out. :)

The stress levels around the apartment have been sky high. Jen is super stressed, obviously due to the fact that for the first time EVER she's not employed... She's taken a few things out on me verbally which is always fun... NOT... but it's to be expected and she later calmed herself down and became normal again.... shes not a monster by any means, but she's doing that snappy stuff and freaking out over what seems like nothing to me... (stuff that I normally do, lol--she's now doing...) so I guess it's fair that we are doing a reversal of roles in the household....  It's just more difficult since I'm a little extra hormonal or something right now, I dunno... I'm all sensitive and just want a hug, I don't freakin' wanna be yelled at.  She snapped at me because I had my fern outside the door of the apartment yesterday "AND IT HAD BEEN OUT THERE FOR A WEEK ALREADY, WHAT THE HELL WAS I PLANNING ON DOING WITH IT?" She snapped at me because "I ASKED HER TO PAY FOR THE STORAGE UNIT" even though I told her I was going to reimburse her on the 30th... (I needed to leave money in my account for my doctors visit today, refill my meds, and peppers vet visit).... Just little things and I'm not trying to make her sound evil, because she isn't, but I just needed to vent, because my feelings were quite hurt and she did make me cry... because it was out of character for her--but I realize that she has a lot on her plate.

On the plus side my meds seem to be working because I haven't flipped out or gone off the deep end through all of this, lol. YAY. Overall, I have a hey, it's all gonna work out attitude...

I took Jen and Lil Man with me to Fayetteville, NC for a couple of days to meet my Aunt Tom.  She's actually my great Aunt... like 70 something now... and still lives down where I'm originally from (in the Fort Bragg, NC area)... so Jen saw a glimpse of that and got to meet one of my favorite ladies... she got to hear how she calls me "Tommy Elizabeth Darlin'" and Lil man didn't want to leave... he loved the in ground pool in the backyard... and the fact that my cousins (who are in their low 20s--actually her granddaughters she adopted from her son--had live in boyfriend/husbands) that had video game consoles they let him play...he was content...but kept calling her my Aunt Mom... until he figured out that she's the lady that I was named after and then it became a little easier for him.

She heard a few stories and got a few laughs and just had an overall relaxing visit...it was nice.

Today, my mom flies back in from Germany.  Granted, she leaves on the first with my dad and aunt to go to Florida for a few days for some reunion, and Jen and I are in charge of dogsitting for her... no biggie, since by then, we'll live there anyway...

On Saturday afternoon I took Jen to a cookout I had been invited to.  It was a small gathering of a few folks I went to high school with and hadn't seen in about 12 years... It actually turned out much better than I imagined.  Jen enjoyed herself as well which I was relieved about.  She heard stories I hadn't bargained on, but she got a kick out of, nonetheless... lol.  She heard about my pot smoking days and how no one new except my friend Tony (who was present) because I was too busy being an overachiever, Senior class president, Prom Queen, Founder of my Youth group at church and such... lol...

I can remember posing for the Honors Society picture for the paper and the reporter asking how to spell my name and my friend Tony coming up behind and saying P-O-T-H-E-A-D.... and me going into a panic thinking oh my god, now everyone's going to know, lol... I haven't done that kind of stuff in years though, thank goodness because I'm pretty sure it contributed to my craziness, lol.

Anyway, It was a lot of fun, one of my friends was in from San Diego, the others were all local... one was in from Amsterdam, but she was unable to make it... nonetheless I'm glad that I stopped being a hermit (since high school I had avoided all of my friends from high school... I didn't know how to be around them... )

It was hard since the girls...one who was there for instance that I did hang out with, I was drinking with at a bar and we were watching her now husband play in the band... I had just come out of the closet and prior to this all the girls would go to the bathroom together, regardless of whether it was a one seater or multiple stalls... after I came out, all the girls stopped going to the bathroom with me, like I wanted their goodies or something.. being gay didn't change who I was... I had never put moves on them before the announcement, nor looked at their stuff... I had held their hair back while they puked and never once took advantage of them... but it just really hurt... and after that... the few that I hadn't written off from high school... well they were added to the list of folks I had nothing in common with.

I had spent so much of my life doing what everyone else wanted me to do and being what I thought everyone wanted me to be... it wasn't until later that I realized I could be whatever I wanted....

I'm thirty years old now and I may not have accomplished everything I thought I would by the this time... but you know what... I've accomplished a lot... I'm happy. I love my if they ever change the laws so that we can marry fiance, I love my son, I love my dog, I have a wonderful family, overall I'm a lucky person.... and I'm not on anyone's timeline but my own.

I'd say I'm moving up AND moving on.