in laws

It occurred to me last night that Jen and I have well over four years together under our belts...only 3 months of that time officially married... and to this day I don't know what to call her parents.  We had this discussion last night after she hung up the phone with her mom.  As always Jen relayed the message from her dad saying, "Butch says hi."

Her dad is great, lol...he talks like he's in a cheech and chong movie and has a Fumanchu and is just funny.  He mom is the more reserved one of the two, highly opinionated, and knows what she wants and isn't afraid to express what she thinks.

I think part of the struggle I've had over the years in figuring out what to call them has to do where their age differences compared to my parents.  My mom will be 53 this summer and my dad will be 59.  Jen's mom will be 70 this May and her dad is a few years younger than her.

So, I guess it's always been kind of a "respect your elders" kind of thing... Calling them Mr. and Mrs. last name just seemed way too uptight and not personal... I mean I've been sleeping with there daughter for YEARS people...lol...

While I've talked to Gloria on the phone a few times, I'm not a phone person so I don't make it a habit to find myself on the phone with anyone, much less my mother in law--nothing personal, I just hate talking on the phone, I don't even like talking to Jen on the phone, lol.  Anyway, I've always managed to not call her dad by anything--I think i've always segwayed my conversation off of what Jen's Mom had said about him, so I could just follow up with a "he."

Well yesterday, I decided that I needed to find out from Jen what the hell to call her parents...I've gone long enough with this weighing on my mind.  She called them and laughed as she told them about my dilemma.  her dad very quickly in the background said to just call him dad, but then seemed immediately bothered by the fact he didn't know what I'd been calling him up to this point, lol.  Jen's mom said I could call her mom as well but I don't know it just doesnt seem as natural calling them mom and dad... I'll get there though.

Jen has been calling my parents mom and dad since the early stages of our relationship... historically my parents have always been easily labeled mom and dad by neighborhood kids, friends of us kids, and whomever we were dating at the time... so it was no biggie.

I've only brought one girl home who referred to my mom as "mom" and mom quickly informed me that she didn't appreciate it and that she didn't know what I was smoking hanging out with that chick anyway... could have been that she was only like 9 or 10 years younger than my mom and immature as fuck...but who knows, that's all behind us now, ha.

You see, my family is the laid back laugh about everything and joke on one another kind of family... Nothing is off limits... whether its my dad asking me "which tommy" he's talking to (he still jokes that I have multiple personalities--which I dont, he hasn't caught on to the whole bipoloar thing yet, lol) They all tell Mexican jokes in front of Jen because she's hispanic (though albino in comparison to what your first mental image of hispanic is, lol)... everything is a topic, we put the fun in dysfunctional.

Jen's family is more reserved and I recall the first time I was going to Colorado to meet them, Jen had me paranoid as hell.  She said that I couldn't cus and that anything I would normally say to my parents was off limits with hers.  (side note, I drop the f bomb ALL the time... it's my favorite word--my mom and my moms mom both say fuck all the time now because of it's stress relieving abilities, lol) I even have "fuckity fuck fuck" tattooed on my ass--though in a cursive script font to keep it classy, lol...

Moving on...

Perhaps its the huge paranoia she inspired with all the "prep" involved to meet her parents and family.  I will for the record add that for the entire week we were in CO, I did not cus at all.  I nearly died. Not even kidding.

Jen was baking cookies, chocolate chip to be exact and her mom wanted her to make some with just walnuts... her mom looked at me and said don't you just love walnuts? and not even thinking I responded, "Nuts aren't very conducive to my lifestyle" Jen nearly passed out, her mom paused for a moment before changing the subject with a hint of a giggle... I almost lost it, thats just a normal comment from me, but wasn't supposed to be normal I was there, lol.

They've kind of caught on that I am who I am and that Jen loves me and I'm not going anywhere so they are more supportive than I had originally imagined. 

Moral of the story, I must practice referring to my inlaws as mom and dad... they are cool with it so I guess I need to be too.