Thursday, February 19, 2009

Venting for beginners

Dry erase marker fumes fill my nostrils and Sara Bareilles's Love Song is muffled by my green American Eagle hoody (my wrists lay on the speakers of my laptop), doesn't matter really because everything is muffled by warehouse sounds right outside of my office door. I should first correct myself and share that my hoody isn't green its called Green Bean if we want to be specific, and I do...because it's fabulous and I love it. (I caught it on sale along with a purple one called plumberry or some other oober gay shit for like 11.95 a piece--in American Eagle world that's pretty awesome.)

Whenever I find a great bargain I often think back to standing in the check out line of the gas station in Antioch, TN (right outside of Nashville) when I lived there for a "second." I had just snagged this fabulous coat from Old Navy that really reminded me of the upolstery you'd find on your grandma's couch. It was tan with blue and lime green obnoxious flowers all over it. Well this dude behind me was like wow, I really like that coat you're wearing. I (always finding it necessary to overshare) said, "Thank you, I got this today for 3 dollars." He without hesitating said, "Sweet, I can relate to that cuz I'm a balla." I asked what that had to do with anything and he said (and I still use this quote to this day)... "I'm a balla on a budget." lol. I miss Nashville.

So to continue with my randomness. I'm at work. Work...Right. I'm being a slacker today in that I was quite productive this morning (after coming in an hour later than supposed to because I couldnt get motivated to save my life), then my boss came to bring paychecks for me to dispense later in the day and after that I've been here in the office...slacking for a lack of better words. There are like nine hundred and seventy three other things I could be doing right now but I just don't want to.

Oh, right so what's the point?

Wow--I dont even know where to begin. I've been having nightmares again which suck because I don't wake up in the middle of them, so I wake up in the morning and its like even though I was technically asleep I'm totally mentally exhausted because of the turmoil faced in my dreams. A catch 22 I suppose. What does that mean anyway?

I'm going to go to the laundromat tonight so that I can wash all of my comforters and get the damn dog hair off of them. Don't get me wrong I love Pepper to death but I pulled the covers up around my neck the other night and was immediately breathing in stray dog hairs, fucking gross. I've gotta do that and I need to clean my truck and I need to clean my bathroom and the upstairs in general because tomorrow night after work I'll need to clean grandma's part of the house. Then Jen and Chad will get there and we'll crash, I'll get up on Saturday morning and come back to work for a couple of hours and be on call the rest of the day....spend the day with Chadwyck while Jen is at work and then wait for Sunday to get here so we can all relax and start the cycle all over again on Monday morning. I'm tired.

So I got some official news within the last couple of weeks. Essentially, all these years i've been thinking that I was bipolar, well because that's what the doctors told me--like back in 2000. I would always get frustrated with the meds not working and quit them, be okay for a while, then hit close to bottom and have to start all over again, etc etc etc. Well I recently found out that I officially have a hormone imbalance and that I was misdiagnosed as being bipolar. What a relief.

The downside is that the condition I have, the first thing to try and fix it is to put me on these pills used to regulate insulin...(insulin triggers the pancreas releasing two different hormones...blah blah) well needless to say that the side effects are basically upset stomach and nausea. So far I feel like I've become bulemic...anytime I eat sugar my body rejects it which is a good thing in that it will lead to weightloss but a downside in that I don't enjoy throwing up AT ALL. Plus i was making my rounds in the warehouse and hit up a bathroom because of shit cramps and had to courtesy flush what felt like seventeen times....good greif.

I just went to the bathroom to pee a second ago and didnt have the urge to poop at all, when I sat down it kind of just fell out of my ass--GROSS.

What the hell and TMI, oh well. I'm trying to decide if I like blogging here or if I'm just going to stick with the myspace blogs.

LOL--I just deleted my brother's girlfriend as a friend on myspace. I wonder if she's noticed yet. I can't help it, I don't like her. She kind of sucks the life out of me. My brother loves her so out of respect for him I try and tolerate her...but dear god. She said some shit the other day that put me over the fucking edge. If I delete her as a friend on myspace she can no longer read my blogs and therefore wont know if I decide to vent about her...

Time to hand out paychecks...until next time.

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