Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Crotchedy

So let me start with a disclaimer that states that I am in no way trying to mask some horrible case of crotch rot, but it's important that I share my routine in order for this whole situation to make sense.  You see, I work in a warehouse.  Warehouse equal extreme heat... when the temp is 102 with a heat index of 115 you can expect the warehouse to be even hotter on the inside (the same goes for the cold weather too... warehouses, unless climate controlled tend to be colder or hotter than the actual temp and you have to dress accordingly.)

The way I deal with this situation is to of course rock some cargo shorts and a polo (since when I wear my t-shirts, my boss tends to bitch because it's not as professional... even though there is nobody in the fucking warehouse right now except for supervisors and the managers... 5 of us total...but I digress)... What I like to do and what helps in dealing with being a woman, with a lil extra weight working in temperatures that I can only imagine hell to feel like is to (hear comes the tmi... but you'll get over it I'm sure) a. wear a panty liner... (this serves to catch some of the sweat which pools from places you weren't aware you could sweat from previously, b. use powder on inner thighs (this helps to get your pants back up after peeing and cuts down on the "wet bathing suit effect" which makes getting said pants back on more difficult.) and c. Summer's Eve Feminine deodorant spray ... which yes, I use in the crotch region as well as with my regular deodorant in my arm pits...

So yes, there is a system and while it doesn't eliminate all issues associated with the amount of sweating I do at work, it makes me feel a little bit better, so I'm going to run with it.  Well the other day was pride.  I was going to be going out in 102 degree heat in the baking sun and decided that I should at least follow through with at least one of my normal three additional steps... I opted for just the spray.  I picked it up from the bathroom counter and sprayed and grabbed by underwear to start getting dressed and got a whiff of something that didn't smell right... you see... anyone who has ever used any type of feminine product knows that there is generally a powdery smell, or something fresh... well this smelled odd... that's when I looked at the can and realized that I had just sprayed my vagina and arm pits with travel size Rusk Hairspray and not the summer's eve spray at all...

WTF?  Needless to say I had to remedy the situation with a wet wash cloth and start all over again before walking out the door and going to pride.  (which was a total disappointment by the way)...

So what have we learned from this situation?  It's good to have a routine, but read the can before you spray anything around your vagina... I will have to say that never has my bush had such volume and control, haha.

3 comments:

Mel's Way or No Way said...

You certainly do put a lot of effort into taking care of that cooter of yours! :D

Queen of Ruckus said...

Thanks for posting your "routine!!!!" It has been very enlightening and it's an awesome tip! hahah! Nice....

I totally understood where your coming from, Tommy! I too have "that" issue... Here's what I do; I wash twice a day. Once when I shower and once before I go to bed... it's the idea of a "bidet," actually. This procedure has been handed down by the women in my family; my mom, my grandmother, etc... their mothers and grandmothers all did the same thing and it's part of my culture, and I am proud of that! ha ha! Funny, but hey, we all need to stay fresh, now don't we? ;)

AS for the hair product... yeah, read the label next time. At least it wasn't foot odor spray! hahahah!

vixen kitten said...

I'm just all kinds of surprised that it didn't burn when you sprayed it.

But, ummmmm....yeah for a bush with volume and control! :)

You're a cute dork!


xoxo
~vk~