Toxic wasteland

I'm living in a toxic wasteland. The energy that is surrounding me right now is negative, contagious, and spreading like wildfire. Grandma is stressing everyone out. My sister is pregnant and super hormonal, my mom is stressed because of her sister's health issues and her son being a jackass, in addition to Grandma and her Verizon mobile internet pissing her off....

Wait. Let me start from the beginning, before I get ahead of myself.

Aunt Melissa (mom's sisters) EKG was abnormal, further tests and scans have also come back abnormal and she is scheduled to see a cardiologist on Tuesday evening. She has been ordered to go the ER if she has any swelling, pain, etc immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. In addition, my mom tried to call Matthew, Melissa's son (my cousin) to see if he wanted to know what was going on with his mom. But his wife is an instigating bitch and stirring shit up so his wanting to know isn't happening right now...screw it.

Mom bought a new air card from Verizon (we are all hardcore verizon junkies for the simple fact that it's the only thing that gets service out in the stixx. (Jen got me a Sprint card for my computer because she loves me and wanted me to be able to do my homework without relying on the computer being free at my moms house--Gma only has Dialup since its all we can get out here unless we use Hughesnet which is a rip off)....but i digress. So her computer was having issues and not being compatible with the card. That added to Gma plucking her nerves by just being Gma and overly demanding and needy, worries about her sister, mandi (my sister) being hormonal and always lashing out at her randomly, the pressures associated with my dad leaving for Kosovo for an entire year in a few weeks...etc...(shes stressed and spread thin)

Grandma is getting stir crazy and used to being independent and now has all the people in her house that she has to rely on and things are changing on her more and more each day.

Mandi is a first time mom, going through a divorce, dealing with trying to figure things out with her baby's dad (not the soon to be exhusband) which yes sounds like a soap opera but if I told you the long story would make perfect sense and she is not the bad/guilty person in this scenario...shes super horomonal and stressing in general with an upcoming baby shower, baby, etc in general.

Jen has work issues and ex husband drama. She lives a very stressful life as well. I don't make things easy on her with my mood swings and everyday craziness...basically lil man's dad (who I've never met personally but isn't thrilled with the fact that lil man talked about me nonstop on his 3 1/2 visit, ***snickering instigatingly***lol) he always tries to parent from Colorado....I tell Jen all the time she should just tell him to blow her...lol...but long story short, she's stressed.

Me...well I feed off of everyone's energy. I've got school stress, work stress, family stress, just stress in general. By Saturday afternoon it was boiling over. I told mom on my way out to Walmart with Mandi and lil man that if she needed a break, I'd get grandma to bed that night and get her up in the morning--I can handle it I told her. She said she was fine with tears in her eyes (things were boiling over for her as well...)

I'm at Walmart with Mandi when my phone rings...it's mom...She says, "I'm taking you up on your offer, grandma will be here when you get here I'll see you tomorrow."

I got home, put lil man in the shower, after he helped me clean up the mess, let him open his transformer I bought him (I had gone to walmart for more legos but there were no good ones), put him in the bed and let him start watching a movie. I went downstairs and helped grandma put on her gown on, take her pills and get into bed.....

I came back upstairs paused the movie, lil man was already winding down so I read to him and he was out cold. I put up laundry up and jen came in shortly after. I was beat to say the least and just felt all kinds of bottled up craziness. The toxicity of it all had caught up with me.

Grandma called me at 6:04 this morning to get her up and in the shower. The power went out while she was in there, she finished, I fixed her breakfast and she was good to go for the next hour and a half while I went back to bed.

I dunno...I'm glad I could give my mom a break. I'm tired of my sister being pregnant because she's a bitch on a regular day, add hormones and its a bad combination, I'm worried about work, overwhelmed with school, trying to help Jen with lil man, worrying about aunt melissa, ready for grandma to be back on her feet, tired all the time, feeling fatter now than when i started trying to lose weight, trying to keep things in my relationship with Jen and not put her over the edge because of my moodswings and shit...which is unintentional by the way...I'M GOING TO FREAKING BREAK SOON.

Too much going on and not enough downtime can make even the strongest person break.