Hitchhiking 101

I had to stop after work yesterday to pick up some groceries and then go to the gas station (since my gas light had been on for a hot minute)...on my way I see this hitchhiker next to the gas station, thumb up headed in the direction I was going.

I filled my car up with gas and thought...you know I don't have any hitchhiking stories. I want to have at least one "yeah I picked up a hitchhiker" story...in my mind it was a risk, but a fun and exciting thing to try as well. I mean it's one of those if you survive moments that you can talk about whenever. I figured if I ever found myself in an awkward silence I could just switch it up with, "you know I picked up a hitchhiker once...."

In my mind it seemed like a good idea AND it would be a good deed. No good deed goes unrewarded grandma always says. (I had done a good deed earlier in the day when a Lexus with four chicks in it were trying to take pictures of my license plate but were having troubles....I got to the stop light and told them I'm going to pull up enough for you to get the pic so do it quick while I'm sitting still...they were excited, got the pic and sped off past me....) Look, everyone has their own concept of good deeds--heh heh.

So anyway back to Mr. Hitchhiker....He was an old white man. White hair, tanned, white tube socks that came up mid-calf, shorts, a t-shirt, sneakers...he didn't look scary, just unkempt. I figured I could take him if he tried to do anything stupid...FUCK IT I'M GOING TO DO IT. I put the gas cap on and drive over near where he was and flag him over. I tell him I'll take him to Zuni which is five miles in the direction of where he is going. (I live in Zuni but off the main road and actually already going 2 miles out of my way to do this....) he looks at me and says, "how much would you charge me to get to Waverly? Waverly is 25 miles past Zuni...You see on the stretch of 460 in between fields of peanuts, cotton, corn, and soybeans lies Windsor (where we were), then Zuni, then Ivor, then something else, then Waverly....

I told him I was only going as far as Zuni because I had things to do and if he wanted to be 5 miles closer to Waverly he could take it, otherwise I was peacin' out. He told me that I was the second girl to offer to take him to this Zuni (pronounced Zoo nye) place and that he was going to tell me the same thing he told the other girl....

"I've got some killer weed in my pocket and if you take me to Waverly, I'll blow your mind." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Did he just say killer weed and blow my mind in the same sentence....I told him, that I wasn't interested in pot because I couldn't smoke it anyway, do you want a ride to Zuni or not...

He asked if I'd come back after dinner to take him...yeah...probably not. He said thank you and went back to his thumb up in the air.

This my friends is whats wrong with the world today. Too many people fail to realize that sometimes you have to take a tiny step in the direction you are headed...you aren't guaranteed to just get there. If the hitchhiker had taken the ride the first time someone offered it, he'd be 5 miles close to his destination AND increased his chances of finding someone that would take him the rest of the way...but instead he stood there for hours in the heat waiting for the straight shot.

This applies in the workplace as well. Sometimes you have to accept a job you don't really want, just to pay bills and get your foot in the door and then transition into something "better" when it becomes available...

I dunno...I'm still skeeved out by a dirty old man offering to "blow my mind" whether it was the killer weed he was referring to or not, those are just not words I want muttered out of an old man with no teeth mouth.

I've decided that having a hitchhiker story isn't all that important...I'll just start the conversation that "I offered a ride to a hitchhiker once but he offered me some killer weed instead" story...