Empty thoughts and things that make you go hmmm

1. Grandma's Mini Sandwich Cremes (vanilla) are one of my favorite things. They are the devil however in that I eat the whole bag from the vending machine at work which equals like 430 calories and well it goes best with a soda so add another 250 calories to that I'm already over half of the suggested number of calories a day, lol. 

2. Field Hockey and Cheerleader (2 HR people for the client company...) and I were eating lunch the other day in the break room.  The topic of flu shots came up and we were all debating on whether or not to get it or not (the company is paying)... Field hockey shared that the last time she had the flu she was so sick she was laid out on the floor and her boyfriend (now fiance) asked her if she was alright and she responded: "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." Lol.  That was some funny shit.  That triggered Cheerleader who is at times neurotic about weight loss to ask if she lost any weight from it....Field hockey told her about 10 pounds, but it came back once she was able to keep food down again.... Cheerleader later joked (i think it was a joke) about she wanted to get the flu so I can lose some weight...I had to shake my head to that one.

I can't judge though...I'd like to find a tapeworm on the black market or eBay and start hard core on my weight loss ventures.  I promised myself I'd get serious about losing some weight after school finished and I had one less stressor in my life.... Looks like Monday is going to be a good day to start...Hip Hop Abs here I come, lol.

3. There's this cool ass supervisor I work with...he's ex-navy and way more warped than I could ever hope to be.  It's funny because we are often on the same perverse page when someone says something... He noticed my license plate a few weeks ago and it clicked (and or verified) that I am indeed a fan of the ladies... This opened up a whole new can of worms in the inappropriate shit for us to talk about at work category.  He's got a couple of kids, 11 and 14, and a wife.... I'm easy to talk to--he once confided in me that he was looking for a new job or considering one that he was offered...no biggie... well today, he told me that we need to pencil in a "technique" discussion...Hell it wasn't even 8 this morning I wasn't even fully awake so I was a little slow on the uptake...he meant Oral technique...lol.  He wants me to give him pointers on licking pussy, lol.  That made me laugh my ass off.  A grown man looking for pointers... but I'm not shy...I told him I wasn't willing to demonstrate nor would I draw him a diagram but I could make a few suggestions if he was interested, ha.

I told one of the guys at work (not one of my employees...i'm not that inappropriate) a technique to try a few days later he comes back with:

Him: Dude that thing you told me to do worked
Me: I told you...nice huh...
Him: Hell nah
Me: What are you talking about
Him: Now the bitch wont leave me alone...

Lol.

4. My chin hairs are back with a vengeance... is about that time... waxing, plucking--I've decided that if i let them get long enough I could just close them in a door and turn my head really fast... who am i kidding..>I cant handle these bristlely fuckers any longer...need to do the lip and brows done too...

5. If my sister hasn't gone into labor by Sunday night they are going to admit her...start softening random parts of her anatomy and induce Monday Morning...So I'll definitely be an Aunt by no later than Monday :)

6. I'm tempted to pay the $5 admission to the fair, just so I can go buy a funnel cake....mmmmmm funnel cake.

7. The sign in on the bathroom stall door reads: Please do not put sanitary napkins or heavily used toilet paper in the toilet that may cause a clog (this bothers me every single time I sit down to pee.)... not only is it not worded properly or grammatically, but come on...it should be changed to: HEY YOU DIRTY BITCH...WOULD YOU FLUSH THAT AT YOUR HOUSE AND RISK FUCKING UP THE PLUMBING AND SERIOUSLY IF YOUR ASS IS DIRTY ENOUGH TO REQUIRE HALF A BULK ROLL OF TOILET PAPER THEN BE COURTEOUS AND FLUSH IN BETWEEN WIPES.....

Management

8. For some reason the truck that I learned to drive and was my first vehicle (well that my dad let me use) was an 83 dodge pick up truck has been on my mind.  I Loved that tank/beast of a truck... the horn went off and periodically got stuck when making right hand turns and if you turned too sharply to the left, the passenger side door would fling open and dump your passenger out if they were not belted in.  My brother as a child was rolled out of the truck on five separate occasions, the dumbass still doesn't wear a seatbelt...once on a major highway he rolled out and my dad had to flag traffic to stop while my brother regained his composure  climbed back in the truck, a few times on some hunting paths, various places... oddly enough he never adopted a nickname like road rash or anything... hmmm

9. Long hair amuses me.  Not in the normal sense....but the fact that generally after a weekend of Jen being at my house or one visit from my sister I end up finding rogue long ass hairs in my ass crack and other inappropriate places...talk about a literal, "wild hair"

10. I was just handed a case that has 12 eleven oz. bags of "witches fingers" (aka crunchy cheetos) they are part of the halloween stuff that didn't get shipped out, they expire at the end of october and the distributer doesn't want them back....WOOHOO I heart carbs, lol (I'm going to give most of them away and store some for lil man as well

11. Today is payday and everything was fucked up.  I have three guys with the same last name, the chick who handles the payroll at the main office switched up two of them, so one got underpaid while the other got over paid, someone else's check got mailed (it was supposed to be here at the facility), and just a bunch of other stuff...really, is it time go yet?

12. I'm oddly amped and can't wait to go home and thoroughly clean and organize, I'm talking take curtains down and scrub kind of cleaning, hands and knees with a toothbrush on the bathroom floor kind of shit....oh yeah :)

Granted, I realize that due to paper size restrictions theirs may be more appropriate.