I was sitting on the steps of the back porch picking my nose and enjoying the fabulous breeze that was blowing in and remembered something that make me laugh. (i'm sure many of you hope that I'm kidding about the nose picking--I'm NOT.)
Today's memory involves meeting Jen's parents this past January. We flew out to Colorado (also my first time in CO)... Jen had many disclaimers for this trip. She kept telling me about how here family was NOT like my family. They are loving and fabulous just like mine, but they aren't as open. When I say open, I refer to the fact that nothing is off limits in my family if it's going to get a laugh (i.e. sharing with my mom, sister, brother, etc about this one time when I was trying to do such and such with Jen and blah blah strap on, blah blah and she said do you need a step stool...) Sure, no one necessarily wants the mental image of what I'm telling them, but the laugh we all get from it trumps it (plus, I love getting Jen riled up with her, TOMMY OH MY GOD, REALLY??? No you are not telling them that...OH MY GOD...OH JESUS...as she turns red and hides her face behind her hands)
Well I promised Jen that I would be on my best behavior, which I always am around new people, especially parents (My friends parents wouldn't let them go places unless I was going because they thought I was the "good one"... which I was back then :) But I digress.
So picture it. I'm trying to warm up to Jen's folks, scared shitless, I'm already in semi time out at this point because I had cut my hair pretty dykey prior to this trip and Jen came slightly unglued...lol. (Don't get me wrong, her folks are not haters by any means, but she had described me one way and wanted me to fit the picture she had painted for them)...Her mom is shelling nuts so that Jen can bake her a batch of cookies with them in it...I don't remember what kind of nuts they were but this is the conversation:
Jen's Mom: Oh Tommy, Jen makes the best cookies....do you like nuts?
Me: No, not a big fan
Jen's Mom: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, they aren't very conducive to my lifestyle
Jen's Mom: (puzzled look)
ME: I don't like how nuts feel in my mouth
By this point Jen has practically climbed under the table and I'm about to piss myself because of how clever my comment was, though inappropriate in that I totally forgot where I was...my bad. Jen put me on time out for a lil while, but her mom chuckled about it after the fact. Turns out even after awkward conversations like the one above...the rents LOVE ME :) and they think I'm a good influence on Jen and Lil man...
Yes, that's right I'm patting myself on the back right now....I'm a rockstar, thanks for noticing.
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Empty thoughts and things that make you go hmmm
1. Grandma's Mini Sandwich Cremes (vanilla) are one of my favorite things. They are the devil however in that I eat the whole bag from the vending machine at work which equals like 430 calories and well it goes best with a soda so add another 250 calories to that I'm already over half of the suggested number of calories a day, lol.
2. Field Hockey and Cheerleader (2 HR people for the client company...) and I were eating lunch the other day in the break room. The topic of flu shots came up and we were all debating on whether or not to get it or not (the company is paying)... Field hockey shared that the last time she had the flu she was so sick she was laid out on the floor and her boyfriend (now fiance) asked her if she was alright and she responded: "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." Lol. That was some funny shit. That triggered Cheerleader who is at times neurotic about weight loss to ask if she lost any weight from it....Field hockey told her about 10 pounds, but it came back once she was able to keep food down again.... Cheerleader later joked (i think it was a joke) about she wanted to get the flu so I can lose some weight...I had to shake my head to that one.
I can't judge though...I'd like to find a tapeworm on the black market or eBay and start hard core on my weight loss ventures. I promised myself I'd get serious about losing some weight after school finished and I had one less stressor in my life.... Looks like Monday is going to be a good day to start...Hip Hop Abs here I come, lol.
3. There's this cool ass supervisor I work with...he's ex-navy and way more warped than I could ever hope to be. It's funny because we are often on the same perverse page when someone says something... He noticed my license plate a few weeks ago and it clicked (and or verified) that I am indeed a fan of the ladies... This opened up a whole new can of worms in the inappropriate shit for us to talk about at work category. He's got a couple of kids, 11 and 14, and a wife.... I'm easy to talk to--he once confided in me that he was looking for a new job or considering one that he was offered...no biggie... well today, he told me that we need to pencil in a "technique" discussion...Hell it wasn't even 8 this morning I wasn't even fully awake so I was a little slow on the uptake...he meant Oral technique...lol. He wants me to give him pointers on licking pussy, lol. That made me laugh my ass off. A grown man looking for pointers... but I'm not shy...I told him I wasn't willing to demonstrate nor would I draw him a diagram but I could make a few suggestions if he was interested, ha.
I told one of the guys at work (not one of my employees...i'm not that inappropriate) a technique to try a few days later he comes back with:
Him: Dude that thing you told me to do worked
Me: I told you...nice huh...
Him: Hell nah
Me: What are you talking about
Him: Now the bitch wont leave me alone...
Lol.
4. My chin hairs are back with a vengeance... is about that time... waxing, plucking--I've decided that if i let them get long enough I could just close them in a door and turn my head really fast... who am i kidding..>I cant handle these bristlely fuckers any longer...need to do the lip and brows done too...
5. If my sister hasn't gone into labor by Sunday night they are going to admit her...start softening random parts of her anatomy and induce Monday Morning...So I'll definitely be an Aunt by no later than Monday :)
6. I'm tempted to pay the $5 admission to the fair, just so I can go buy a funnel cake....mmmmmm funnel cake.
7. The sign in on the bathroom stall door reads: Please do not put sanitary napkins or heavily used toilet paper in the toilet that may cause a clog (this bothers me every single time I sit down to pee.)... not only is it not worded properly or grammatically, but come on...it should be changed to: HEY YOU DIRTY BITCH...WOULD YOU FLUSH THAT AT YOUR HOUSE AND RISK FUCKING UP THE PLUMBING AND SERIOUSLY IF YOUR ASS IS DIRTY ENOUGH TO REQUIRE HALF A BULK ROLL OF TOILET PAPER THEN BE COURTEOUS AND FLUSH IN BETWEEN WIPES.....
Management
8. For some reason the truck that I learned to drive and was my first vehicle (well that my dad let me use) was an 83 dodge pick up truck has been on my mind. I Loved that tank/beast of a truck... the horn went off and periodically got stuck when making right hand turns and if you turned too sharply to the left, the passenger side door would fling open and dump your passenger out if they were not belted in. My brother as a child was rolled out of the truck on five separate occasions, the dumbass still doesn't wear a seatbelt...once on a major highway he rolled out and my dad had to flag traffic to stop while my brother regained his composure climbed back in the truck, a few times on some hunting paths, various places... oddly enough he never adopted a nickname like road rash or anything... hmmm
9. Long hair amuses me. Not in the normal sense....but the fact that generally after a weekend of Jen being at my house or one visit from my sister I end up finding rogue long ass hairs in my ass crack and other inappropriate places...talk about a literal, "wild hair"
10. I was just handed a case that has 12 eleven oz. bags of "witches fingers" (aka crunchy cheetos) they are part of the halloween stuff that didn't get shipped out, they expire at the end of october and the distributer doesn't want them back....WOOHOO I heart carbs, lol (I'm going to give most of them away and store some for lil man as well
11. Today is payday and everything was fucked up. I have three guys with the same last name, the chick who handles the payroll at the main office switched up two of them, so one got underpaid while the other got over paid, someone else's check got mailed (it was supposed to be here at the facility), and just a bunch of other stuff...really, is it time go yet?
12. I'm oddly amped and can't wait to go home and thoroughly clean and organize, I'm talking take curtains down and scrub kind of cleaning, hands and knees with a toothbrush on the bathroom floor kind of shit....oh yeah :)
Granted, I realize that due to paper size restrictions theirs may be more appropriate.
2. Field Hockey and Cheerleader (2 HR people for the client company...) and I were eating lunch the other day in the break room. The topic of flu shots came up and we were all debating on whether or not to get it or not (the company is paying)... Field hockey shared that the last time she had the flu she was so sick she was laid out on the floor and her boyfriend (now fiance) asked her if she was alright and she responded: "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." Lol. That was some funny shit. That triggered Cheerleader who is at times neurotic about weight loss to ask if she lost any weight from it....Field hockey told her about 10 pounds, but it came back once she was able to keep food down again.... Cheerleader later joked (i think it was a joke) about she wanted to get the flu so I can lose some weight...I had to shake my head to that one.
I can't judge though...I'd like to find a tapeworm on the black market or eBay and start hard core on my weight loss ventures. I promised myself I'd get serious about losing some weight after school finished and I had one less stressor in my life.... Looks like Monday is going to be a good day to start...Hip Hop Abs here I come, lol.
3. There's this cool ass supervisor I work with...he's ex-navy and way more warped than I could ever hope to be. It's funny because we are often on the same perverse page when someone says something... He noticed my license plate a few weeks ago and it clicked (and or verified) that I am indeed a fan of the ladies... This opened up a whole new can of worms in the inappropriate shit for us to talk about at work category. He's got a couple of kids, 11 and 14, and a wife.... I'm easy to talk to--he once confided in me that he was looking for a new job or considering one that he was offered...no biggie... well today, he told me that we need to pencil in a "technique" discussion...Hell it wasn't even 8 this morning I wasn't even fully awake so I was a little slow on the uptake...he meant Oral technique...lol. He wants me to give him pointers on licking pussy, lol. That made me laugh my ass off. A grown man looking for pointers... but I'm not shy...I told him I wasn't willing to demonstrate nor would I draw him a diagram but I could make a few suggestions if he was interested, ha.
I told one of the guys at work (not one of my employees...i'm not that inappropriate) a technique to try a few days later he comes back with:
Him: Dude that thing you told me to do worked
Me: I told you...nice huh...
Him: Hell nah
Me: What are you talking about
Him: Now the bitch wont leave me alone...
Lol.
4. My chin hairs are back with a vengeance... is about that time... waxing, plucking--I've decided that if i let them get long enough I could just close them in a door and turn my head really fast... who am i kidding..>I cant handle these bristlely fuckers any longer...need to do the lip and brows done too...
5. If my sister hasn't gone into labor by Sunday night they are going to admit her...start softening random parts of her anatomy and induce Monday Morning...So I'll definitely be an Aunt by no later than Monday :)
6. I'm tempted to pay the $5 admission to the fair, just so I can go buy a funnel cake....mmmmmm funnel cake.
7. The sign in on the bathroom stall door reads: Please do not put sanitary napkins or heavily used toilet paper in the toilet that may cause a clog (this bothers me every single time I sit down to pee.)... not only is it not worded properly or grammatically, but come on...it should be changed to: HEY YOU DIRTY BITCH...WOULD YOU FLUSH THAT AT YOUR HOUSE AND RISK FUCKING UP THE PLUMBING AND SERIOUSLY IF YOUR ASS IS DIRTY ENOUGH TO REQUIRE HALF A BULK ROLL OF TOILET PAPER THEN BE COURTEOUS AND FLUSH IN BETWEEN WIPES.....
Management
8. For some reason the truck that I learned to drive and was my first vehicle (well that my dad let me use) was an 83 dodge pick up truck has been on my mind. I Loved that tank/beast of a truck... the horn went off and periodically got stuck when making right hand turns and if you turned too sharply to the left, the passenger side door would fling open and dump your passenger out if they were not belted in. My brother as a child was rolled out of the truck on five separate occasions, the dumbass still doesn't wear a seatbelt...once on a major highway he rolled out and my dad had to flag traffic to stop while my brother regained his composure climbed back in the truck, a few times on some hunting paths, various places... oddly enough he never adopted a nickname like road rash or anything... hmmm
9. Long hair amuses me. Not in the normal sense....but the fact that generally after a weekend of Jen being at my house or one visit from my sister I end up finding rogue long ass hairs in my ass crack and other inappropriate places...talk about a literal, "wild hair"
10. I was just handed a case that has 12 eleven oz. bags of "witches fingers" (aka crunchy cheetos) they are part of the halloween stuff that didn't get shipped out, they expire at the end of october and the distributer doesn't want them back....WOOHOO I heart carbs, lol (I'm going to give most of them away and store some for lil man as well
11. Today is payday and everything was fucked up. I have three guys with the same last name, the chick who handles the payroll at the main office switched up two of them, so one got underpaid while the other got over paid, someone else's check got mailed (it was supposed to be here at the facility), and just a bunch of other stuff...really, is it time go yet?
12. I'm oddly amped and can't wait to go home and thoroughly clean and organize, I'm talking take curtains down and scrub kind of cleaning, hands and knees with a toothbrush on the bathroom floor kind of shit....oh yeah :)
Granted, I realize that due to paper size restrictions theirs may be more appropriate.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday Memories...
Writing the blog I just finished titled Totem Pole made me remember a cartoon that used to come back in the 80s...I couldnt remember the name, but after some research discovered a clip
THE PAW PAW BEARS, LOL....
I love 80s cartoons. Some of my favorites were as follows:
THE GUMMI BEARS ranked high...I loved mama bear with her scruffy voice....
TOM AND JERRY a classic
JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS--dude I used to have a Jem doll with the light up earrings...I don't know why I loved this show....now it just looks dumb, but hey it is what it is
SHE-RA I remember I had a shera doll to and if you looked into the jewel on her chest you could see cool shit...I was so pissed off when I was about 7 and my sister shut the truck door on shera and crumbled her to bits...all that was left was blonde hair...
I was also a fan of HE-Man seeing as my brother wouldn't let us girls take over the tv all the time...as well as, Fraggle Rock, Snorks, etc...Beavis and Butthead and Ren and Stimpy later in life (neither of which my mom approved of because they were socially unacceptable so I would sneak and watch them...) She never let me watch the Simpsons either...but I could live without them anyway
Those were the cool cartoons...Spongebob and shit just can't compete in my opinion.
THE PAW PAW BEARS, LOL....
I love 80s cartoons. Some of my favorites were as follows:
THE GUMMI BEARS ranked high...I loved mama bear with her scruffy voice....
TOM AND JERRY a classic
JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS--dude I used to have a Jem doll with the light up earrings...I don't know why I loved this show....now it just looks dumb, but hey it is what it is
SHE-RA I remember I had a shera doll to and if you looked into the jewel on her chest you could see cool shit...I was so pissed off when I was about 7 and my sister shut the truck door on shera and crumbled her to bits...all that was left was blonde hair...
I was also a fan of HE-Man seeing as my brother wouldn't let us girls take over the tv all the time...as well as, Fraggle Rock, Snorks, etc...Beavis and Butthead and Ren and Stimpy later in life (neither of which my mom approved of because they were socially unacceptable so I would sneak and watch them...) She never let me watch the Simpsons either...but I could live without them anyway
Those were the cool cartoons...Spongebob and shit just can't compete in my opinion.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Empty Thoughts
Today is Thursday which means that tomorrow when I wake up it will be FRIDAY. I must stop "wishing my life away" as many put it. I can't help it though--it's like I dread Mondays, the rest of the week seems to creep by and then by the time the weekend finally arrives, I blink and it's gone. I'm still trying to work out a way where I work two days a week, get five days off and still make the same money (or more, lol)--but I have to be realistic as this is not likely to EVER happen.
Since my boss is out of her office this week, I get to take a field trip today--EXCITING. All it entails is driving to the main office (about 45 minutes away), dropping off paperwork for the new starts I processed yesterday and picking up paychecks for my contractors so that they can be handed out tomorrow. But I am going to take my lunch while I'm out and that area has some excellent options for lunch. Moe's Southwest Grill is kind of on my mind...I'm in the mood for some Mexican...but I dunno yet...It might just be a burger while I'm driving back to the warehouse.
Pepper has had awful gas lately. I had to plea with grandma yesterday to PLEASE stop feeding her from the table because it's tearing her lil stomach up. From the time she was a puppy she had issues. The first of them was not her fault and involved about two weeks straight of me not sleeping because Pepper was up all night with the runs and it was during the time I was trying to house break her. So if I slept hard and didn't hear her wimper trying to wake me up to let her out, I'd be undoing the training I taught her AND cleaning up liquid shit from the carpet. Come to find out she had some type of parasite (I don't remember off the top of my head) that was causing fading puppy syndrome...basically Pepper still had an appetite but the parasite was eating it and her from the inside out. She would have died had I delayed any longer in getting her to the vet. This is also when I first noticed that Pepper was going to be a "fatty." The only dog I've ever had who I didn't have to trick to take pills or "drink" medicine.... the lil hefer would beg for more after I gave her the stuff from the vet via syringe in her mouth....RIDICULOUS. She loves food that is for sure. Unfortunately Gma feeds her nonstop and even I am guilty of sharing people food with (as is everyone else that comes to the house)...so it's not like just one person is responsible...but we all need to stop.
So anyway, Jen helped pick up a pile and I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the carpet because for whatever reason Pepper couldn't get anyone's attention quick enough when the shit cramp hit her. This is two days in a row and I told grandma that I'm tired of cleaning up shit for a dog that is house broke... (I wanted to say, "look you ol' bag, stop feeding the dog random shit that you think won't hurt her because you can't get your ass on the floor to clean up the mess she makes because her stomach is out of wack."--But I didn't. Gma gives Pepper everything ranging from the whip cream and remnants of her Dairy Queen Moolatte (key word being DAIRY)...something that Pepper has never handled well, chips, nuts, just junk in general... lean meats and veggies are one thing but come on.
I fired someone before they even started yesterday. I was expecting 8 for the training class I held for people projected to start on Tuesday--7 showed up. I called him in the afternoon when all was said and done to follow up and see what happened. He didn't seem like he actually gave a shit, so I told him that if he couldn't see the importance of coming to training and didn't bother to call me ahead of time to tell me he wouldn't be attending that I couldn't trust he'd find coming to work important either--I told him he missed his opportunity to work out here... Someone that is reliable and actually WANTS to work can be hired instead.
I'm wearing the most fabulous pair of Jeans today...They are truly wonderful. I found them at a thrift store this past weekend... (I've been wearing my baggy cargo shorts...aka my fat pants because of how comfy and NOT restricting they are)... so I wasn't sure if they size would even work. I bought them anyway because a brand new looking pair of jeans for $3.99 should never stay on the rack. I figured that even if I needed to lose a few pounds it was a deal...I tried them on this morning planning for the worst.... if they actually went on they'd never button.... they went on like I had greased my legs with Crisco prior to and buttoned without me even sucking it in. Thank you Liz Claiborne for making my day with your fabulous jeans in a smaller size than I generally wear...a little stretch makes all the difference (granted it's not like leggings stretch...just a lil give. I'm opposed to wearing pants that show my actual shape. A lil curve here and there will suffice, no one needs to know every intimate detail and I refuse to wear jeans that make me rock a camel toe/moose knuckle.)
I'm also a firm believer that underwear should be directly proportionate to the size of one's ass. I'm not saying every inch needs to be covered...but I will say that with the size of my ass...if I were to put a thong on, I'd spend more time looking for the shit, trying to dig it out of my ass crack that I'd never find time for anything else. I don't wear granny panties, but I do wear those that make the most since for me and my ass.
I remember the days when I used to find jeans and in order for them to fit through the hips and ass they'd be WAY to big in the waist.... THIS IS NOT THE CASE ANYMORE... my stomach has caught up, lol.
I have blown my hair dry two days in a row now....I'm actually rocking my "girl hair" which is different from the normal wild crazy faux hawk type look. It's my more feminine side...SIKE what it really boils down to is that my hair is getting longer in the back quicker than it is growing on top, so I blow dry my hair up in the back for the messy look and lay the front down...otherwise I feel like I have a mullet because my hair is touching my neck and immediately want to go get the clippers to get rid of it...I'm going to try the hair thing for a while (or at least as long as I can)...
Grandma rode with my mom, aunt, and sister to Sam's Club yesterday. It was nice that mom took her, because otherwise I was going to have to and it just stresses me out because she insists on going up every single aisle despite only coming in for toilet paper or other few things that might be on her list....$598.00 later she came home with a metric shit ton of stuff that we didn't need....she's out of control. She bought my mom a laptop bag and my aunt a "pallet" of LoCarb Monster (that which is my fault because I was on a LoCarb Monster kick for a while and got my mom hooked, she in turn got her sister/my aunt hooked)..I've since shaken my habit and really only drink one, every couple of months--mom and aunt melissa are still very much every day people.
Mandi is officially ready to have the baby. Translation: I'm going to be an Aunt really any day now. The baby is locked and loaded, at her last Dr. Appt on Monday she was actually having contractions (but not feeling them) the machine she was hooked up to was registering them....EXCITING I'm going to be an Aunt...FUN FUN FUN.
I've officially decided that the motherhood thing is not for me (in terms of actually carrying something around inside of me for nine months and then pushing it out...) NEGATIVE. Freaks me out...not interested...I'm quite okay with someone else doing it and letting me play "aunt" or the other mom (sort of)... It's funny...when it comes to me and Jen/Jen and I? I'm too tired to remember which one is proper at this point, but really how proper am I most days? Lil man refers to us as Mommy and Tommy (it being obvious which one is which)... he sometimes slips up and calls me Mommy, but soon corrects himself...which is no biggie. He knows who is who. I often wonder what he understands about the whole situation. I know that he knows that Jen and I love each other and that we Love him too, but past that I'm not sure. In my mind it's like Jen is his mom and I'm his buddy to play games and legos with, but who doesn't play when it comes to whining or arguing, or running in the house---so sometimes if I've told him to not do something (i.e. run laps in the house) he immediately wants to go home and he tells his mom that... it becomes, Tommy isn't my fun loving buddy anymore so it's pointless for me to be here. Lol. Last night he said something about me living at his house (so I know that when the time is right and Jen and I are able to move in together, he'll be fine with the transition).
Tupperware is a great invention (storage containers for food in general)...the downside is that some food you store in them the smell gets trapped in the bowl. This normally isn't an issue if you wash them in the dishwasher...I put some pineapple slices in a tupperware container yesterday after lunch (I opened the can but couldn't finish it)... well today I open them to eat the rest of them and smell spaghetti sauce...GROSS. Pineapple and spaghetti sauce... not a cool flavor combo, luckily they haven't been in the container long enough to absorb the taste of how spaghetti smells--are you following me, lol? This container obviously doesn't get used often so it was probably hand washed last then put in the cabinet....today however it's going in the dishwasher for sure.
I was thinking about labels earlier today... I hear the terms butch and femme on the regular but don't feel I really fit into either. I've always considered myself a lil CHAPSTICK instead... you know definitely not butch...just dress a lil bit from time to time and definitely not lipstick, just like to look cute from time to time. I'm not sure why everything needs to have a label anyway...but no matter how I feel about labels, I still find myself trying to fit into the corresponding one for me.--WEIRD.
I don't miss Myspace or Facebook. It dawned on me last night when a random person my sister knows stopped me in Food Lion and was like, Oh My god did Mandi have her baby yet...it said on face book, blah blah...Its funny...I like the sort of anonymity that comes with blogger. Sure, anyone who googled my name would come across it, and I'm not exactly secretive about my life by any means... but I don't want people from my past being all in my biznazz... Mainly folks from high school that are fake nowadays and act like we actually miss each other when we don't... I already live in a small town... blogger lets me be not only a voyeur to someone else's life (from near to far) and vent about anything and everything and just write...which is one of my passions. I guess what I'm saying is that I know this isn't exactly private and that the World Wide Web invites the potential for many people into my life via my blog, but dammit, for the most part it prevents that awkward fake bullshit associated with Myspace or Facebook where ex friends or people that you used to know but could give a shit about now do that whole "oh my life is great and this this and this" how is yours and then pretend to really care....
Wow, I'm bitter. I just hate that. I had friends in highschool and in the past don't get me wrong, but I can't think of a single person I still talk to from high school other than bumping into from time to time at the store... I have a few people that I still have contact info for in Nashville, but we don't keep up like we should...life gets away from you sometimes and dammit...I'm just not the same person they knew me as. I love who I am, and who I've become, and the person I'm still working towards becoming if that makes any sense. One should never stop growing and never be content with things being just as they are. I feel like it's important to strive for "better" things, situations, personal growth, and stuff in general. Just getting to where you wanted to be and becoming complacent, in my opinion isn't good enough. I know that I deserve better and that I am better...that's why I'm working so hard on my own personal goals (though some of those goals take priority to others...I'll accomplish them all eventually)
Since my boss is out of her office this week, I get to take a field trip today--EXCITING. All it entails is driving to the main office (about 45 minutes away), dropping off paperwork for the new starts I processed yesterday and picking up paychecks for my contractors so that they can be handed out tomorrow. But I am going to take my lunch while I'm out and that area has some excellent options for lunch. Moe's Southwest Grill is kind of on my mind...I'm in the mood for some Mexican...but I dunno yet...It might just be a burger while I'm driving back to the warehouse.
Pepper has had awful gas lately. I had to plea with grandma yesterday to PLEASE stop feeding her from the table because it's tearing her lil stomach up. From the time she was a puppy she had issues. The first of them was not her fault and involved about two weeks straight of me not sleeping because Pepper was up all night with the runs and it was during the time I was trying to house break her. So if I slept hard and didn't hear her wimper trying to wake me up to let her out, I'd be undoing the training I taught her AND cleaning up liquid shit from the carpet. Come to find out she had some type of parasite (I don't remember off the top of my head) that was causing fading puppy syndrome...basically Pepper still had an appetite but the parasite was eating it and her from the inside out. She would have died had I delayed any longer in getting her to the vet. This is also when I first noticed that Pepper was going to be a "fatty." The only dog I've ever had who I didn't have to trick to take pills or "drink" medicine.... the lil hefer would beg for more after I gave her the stuff from the vet via syringe in her mouth....RIDICULOUS. She loves food that is for sure. Unfortunately Gma feeds her nonstop and even I am guilty of sharing people food with (as is everyone else that comes to the house)...so it's not like just one person is responsible...but we all need to stop.
So anyway, Jen helped pick up a pile and I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the carpet because for whatever reason Pepper couldn't get anyone's attention quick enough when the shit cramp hit her. This is two days in a row and I told grandma that I'm tired of cleaning up shit for a dog that is house broke... (I wanted to say, "look you ol' bag, stop feeding the dog random shit that you think won't hurt her because you can't get your ass on the floor to clean up the mess she makes because her stomach is out of wack."--But I didn't. Gma gives Pepper everything ranging from the whip cream and remnants of her Dairy Queen Moolatte (key word being DAIRY)...something that Pepper has never handled well, chips, nuts, just junk in general... lean meats and veggies are one thing but come on.
I fired someone before they even started yesterday. I was expecting 8 for the training class I held for people projected to start on Tuesday--7 showed up. I called him in the afternoon when all was said and done to follow up and see what happened. He didn't seem like he actually gave a shit, so I told him that if he couldn't see the importance of coming to training and didn't bother to call me ahead of time to tell me he wouldn't be attending that I couldn't trust he'd find coming to work important either--I told him he missed his opportunity to work out here... Someone that is reliable and actually WANTS to work can be hired instead.
I'm wearing the most fabulous pair of Jeans today...They are truly wonderful. I found them at a thrift store this past weekend... (I've been wearing my baggy cargo shorts...aka my fat pants because of how comfy and NOT restricting they are)... so I wasn't sure if they size would even work. I bought them anyway because a brand new looking pair of jeans for $3.99 should never stay on the rack. I figured that even if I needed to lose a few pounds it was a deal...I tried them on this morning planning for the worst.... if they actually went on they'd never button.... they went on like I had greased my legs with Crisco prior to and buttoned without me even sucking it in. Thank you Liz Claiborne for making my day with your fabulous jeans in a smaller size than I generally wear...a little stretch makes all the difference (granted it's not like leggings stretch...just a lil give. I'm opposed to wearing pants that show my actual shape. A lil curve here and there will suffice, no one needs to know every intimate detail and I refuse to wear jeans that make me rock a camel toe/moose knuckle.)
I'm also a firm believer that underwear should be directly proportionate to the size of one's ass. I'm not saying every inch needs to be covered...but I will say that with the size of my ass...if I were to put a thong on, I'd spend more time looking for the shit, trying to dig it out of my ass crack that I'd never find time for anything else. I don't wear granny panties, but I do wear those that make the most since for me and my ass.
I remember the days when I used to find jeans and in order for them to fit through the hips and ass they'd be WAY to big in the waist.... THIS IS NOT THE CASE ANYMORE... my stomach has caught up, lol.
I have blown my hair dry two days in a row now....I'm actually rocking my "girl hair" which is different from the normal wild crazy faux hawk type look. It's my more feminine side...SIKE what it really boils down to is that my hair is getting longer in the back quicker than it is growing on top, so I blow dry my hair up in the back for the messy look and lay the front down...otherwise I feel like I have a mullet because my hair is touching my neck and immediately want to go get the clippers to get rid of it...I'm going to try the hair thing for a while (or at least as long as I can)...
Grandma rode with my mom, aunt, and sister to Sam's Club yesterday. It was nice that mom took her, because otherwise I was going to have to and it just stresses me out because she insists on going up every single aisle despite only coming in for toilet paper or other few things that might be on her list....$598.00 later she came home with a metric shit ton of stuff that we didn't need....she's out of control. She bought my mom a laptop bag and my aunt a "pallet" of LoCarb Monster (that which is my fault because I was on a LoCarb Monster kick for a while and got my mom hooked, she in turn got her sister/my aunt hooked)..I've since shaken my habit and really only drink one, every couple of months--mom and aunt melissa are still very much every day people.
Mandi is officially ready to have the baby. Translation: I'm going to be an Aunt really any day now. The baby is locked and loaded, at her last Dr. Appt on Monday she was actually having contractions (but not feeling them) the machine she was hooked up to was registering them....EXCITING I'm going to be an Aunt...FUN FUN FUN.
I've officially decided that the motherhood thing is not for me (in terms of actually carrying something around inside of me for nine months and then pushing it out...) NEGATIVE. Freaks me out...not interested...I'm quite okay with someone else doing it and letting me play "aunt" or the other mom (sort of)... It's funny...when it comes to me and Jen/Jen and I? I'm too tired to remember which one is proper at this point, but really how proper am I most days? Lil man refers to us as Mommy and Tommy (it being obvious which one is which)... he sometimes slips up and calls me Mommy, but soon corrects himself...which is no biggie. He knows who is who. I often wonder what he understands about the whole situation. I know that he knows that Jen and I love each other and that we Love him too, but past that I'm not sure. In my mind it's like Jen is his mom and I'm his buddy to play games and legos with, but who doesn't play when it comes to whining or arguing, or running in the house---so sometimes if I've told him to not do something (i.e. run laps in the house) he immediately wants to go home and he tells his mom that... it becomes, Tommy isn't my fun loving buddy anymore so it's pointless for me to be here. Lol. Last night he said something about me living at his house (so I know that when the time is right and Jen and I are able to move in together, he'll be fine with the transition).
Tupperware is a great invention (storage containers for food in general)...the downside is that some food you store in them the smell gets trapped in the bowl. This normally isn't an issue if you wash them in the dishwasher...I put some pineapple slices in a tupperware container yesterday after lunch (I opened the can but couldn't finish it)... well today I open them to eat the rest of them and smell spaghetti sauce...GROSS. Pineapple and spaghetti sauce... not a cool flavor combo, luckily they haven't been in the container long enough to absorb the taste of how spaghetti smells--are you following me, lol? This container obviously doesn't get used often so it was probably hand washed last then put in the cabinet....today however it's going in the dishwasher for sure.
I was thinking about labels earlier today... I hear the terms butch and femme on the regular but don't feel I really fit into either. I've always considered myself a lil CHAPSTICK instead... you know definitely not butch...just dress a lil bit from time to time and definitely not lipstick, just like to look cute from time to time. I'm not sure why everything needs to have a label anyway...but no matter how I feel about labels, I still find myself trying to fit into the corresponding one for me.--WEIRD.
I don't miss Myspace or Facebook. It dawned on me last night when a random person my sister knows stopped me in Food Lion and was like, Oh My god did Mandi have her baby yet...it said on face book, blah blah...Its funny...I like the sort of anonymity that comes with blogger. Sure, anyone who googled my name would come across it, and I'm not exactly secretive about my life by any means... but I don't want people from my past being all in my biznazz... Mainly folks from high school that are fake nowadays and act like we actually miss each other when we don't... I already live in a small town... blogger lets me be not only a voyeur to someone else's life (from near to far) and vent about anything and everything and just write...which is one of my passions. I guess what I'm saying is that I know this isn't exactly private and that the World Wide Web invites the potential for many people into my life via my blog, but dammit, for the most part it prevents that awkward fake bullshit associated with Myspace or Facebook where ex friends or people that you used to know but could give a shit about now do that whole "oh my life is great and this this and this" how is yours and then pretend to really care....
Wow, I'm bitter. I just hate that. I had friends in highschool and in the past don't get me wrong, but I can't think of a single person I still talk to from high school other than bumping into from time to time at the store... I have a few people that I still have contact info for in Nashville, but we don't keep up like we should...life gets away from you sometimes and dammit...I'm just not the same person they knew me as. I love who I am, and who I've become, and the person I'm still working towards becoming if that makes any sense. One should never stop growing and never be content with things being just as they are. I feel like it's important to strive for "better" things, situations, personal growth, and stuff in general. Just getting to where you wanted to be and becoming complacent, in my opinion isn't good enough. I know that I deserve better and that I am better...that's why I'm working so hard on my own personal goals (though some of those goals take priority to others...I'll accomplish them all eventually)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday Memories Numero Uno
I've decided that instead of only ever having negative Monday blogs...I'm going to try and start a new blogging tradition which will be to just share some random fun memories...sometimes via pictures, sometimes stories, whatever so long as it's not always my miserable Monday stuff (I'm trying... I'm not going to change over night dammit)...
I've decided I'm ready for my sister to not be pregnant anymore... I want her to have an easy labor and healthy baby, but right now I just want her to be able to drink again, haha. We've had some good times and a lot of those times alcohol was involved. I enjoyed drinking a few beers with Jen this past weekend--I really don't drink like I used to... too much other stuff going on and when you live in BFE...its a lot of driving to get to and from places, so I opt to avoid the DUI or killing someone and generally stay sober....
Anyway, back to the memories....
Heh heh... same night... getting ready. One of my favorite pictures of my sister... we were pre-drinking, lol....but never forgot good oral hygiene...
This picture is from a trip to Radford, VA (it's up near Va Tech)... Byrd, me, Mandi, and Taco Bell... he was the waiter of the Mexican restaurant.... he told us his name was Taco Bell...he was lot's of fun...
Earlier that same night... My Mucho Margarita was kickin' in... I'm also kind of famous for getting a buzz and doing my "duck billed platypus" face, haha... DON'T JUDGE ME.
A separate trip to Radford... we went to the local bar (where Mandi's Baby's daddy worked)... I insisted we go so that I could have a JOOSE story... THEY SERVE JOOSE IN THE BAR!! and even pour it in a glass for you if you want... for those of you who don't know what JOOSE is (other than heartburn in a can), it's a Malt Liquor Energy Drink thing... you're not allowed to have more than 2 served to you at the bar, for your and everyone else's safety, haha. I drank hers and mine that night because she just wasn't in a drinking mood... I ended up smoking half her pack of smokes, gave her a lap dance, (a clean one, i mean shit, she is my sister), and took a lime out of the mouth of a woman who had like two teeth WITH MY TONGUE...something I swore I'd never do... she later whispered something about her place, a plastic shower curtain on the bed, A/C, and baby oil... Mandi, has never let me live that down... Mandi bumps into the lady from time to time and always jokes about how "my girlfriend" asked about me... Not funny. Turns out that the lady is actually the ex girlfriend of my sister's baby daddy so even if it was just a drunken tequilla shot that links me, I'm technically linked to my own sister and her baby daddy...that's some West Virginia type shit. Oh well... Now you know why I don't drink JOOSE anymore, or drink that often anymore period, haha--and I ESPECIALLY do not, DO NOT, mix my alcohol...not in public anyway... bad situation you see.
I've decided I'm ready for my sister to not be pregnant anymore... I want her to have an easy labor and healthy baby, but right now I just want her to be able to drink again, haha. We've had some good times and a lot of those times alcohol was involved. I enjoyed drinking a few beers with Jen this past weekend--I really don't drink like I used to... too much other stuff going on and when you live in BFE...its a lot of driving to get to and from places, so I opt to avoid the DUI or killing someone and generally stay sober....
Anyway, back to the memories....
When I have a buzz... it doesn't matter where I am, I always end up trying on someone's hat and posing for a picture, lol. I was out with Mandi the night this was taken... we were out with friends from work... (2007 I believe)....
Heh heh... same night... getting ready. One of my favorite pictures of my sister... we were pre-drinking, lol....but never forgot good oral hygiene...
This picture is from a trip to Radford, VA (it's up near Va Tech)... Byrd, me, Mandi, and Taco Bell... he was the waiter of the Mexican restaurant.... he told us his name was Taco Bell...he was lot's of fun...
Earlier that same night... My Mucho Margarita was kickin' in... I'm also kind of famous for getting a buzz and doing my "duck billed platypus" face, haha... DON'T JUDGE ME.
A separate trip to Radford... we went to the local bar (where Mandi's Baby's daddy worked)... I insisted we go so that I could have a JOOSE story... THEY SERVE JOOSE IN THE BAR!! and even pour it in a glass for you if you want... for those of you who don't know what JOOSE is (other than heartburn in a can), it's a Malt Liquor Energy Drink thing... you're not allowed to have more than 2 served to you at the bar, for your and everyone else's safety, haha. I drank hers and mine that night because she just wasn't in a drinking mood... I ended up smoking half her pack of smokes, gave her a lap dance, (a clean one, i mean shit, she is my sister), and took a lime out of the mouth of a woman who had like two teeth WITH MY TONGUE...something I swore I'd never do... she later whispered something about her place, a plastic shower curtain on the bed, A/C, and baby oil... Mandi, has never let me live that down... Mandi bumps into the lady from time to time and always jokes about how "my girlfriend" asked about me... Not funny. Turns out that the lady is actually the ex girlfriend of my sister's baby daddy so even if it was just a drunken tequilla shot that links me, I'm technically linked to my own sister and her baby daddy...that's some West Virginia type shit. Oh well... Now you know why I don't drink JOOSE anymore, or drink that often anymore period, haha--and I ESPECIALLY do not, DO NOT, mix my alcohol...not in public anyway... bad situation you see.
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