Monday Memories

I was sitting on the steps of the back porch picking my nose and enjoying the fabulous breeze that was blowing in and remembered something that make me laugh. (i'm sure many of you hope that I'm kidding about the nose picking--I'm NOT.)

Today's memory involves meeting Jen's parents this past January.  We flew out to Colorado (also my first time in CO)... Jen had many disclaimers for this trip.  She kept telling me about how here family was NOT like my family.  They are loving and fabulous just like mine, but they aren't as open.  When I say open, I refer to the fact that nothing is off limits in my family if it's going to get a laugh (i.e. sharing with my mom, sister, brother, etc about this one time when I was trying to do such and such with Jen and blah blah strap on, blah blah and she said do you need a step stool...) Sure, no one necessarily wants the mental image of what I'm telling them, but the laugh we all get from it trumps it (plus, I love getting Jen riled up with her, TOMMY OH MY GOD, REALLY??? No you are not telling them that...OH MY GOD...OH JESUS...as she turns red and hides her face behind her hands)

Well I promised Jen that I would be on my best behavior, which I always am around new people, especially parents (My friends parents wouldn't let them go places unless I was going because they thought I was the "good one"... which I was back then :)  But I digress.

So picture it.  I'm trying to warm up to Jen's folks, scared shitless, I'm already in semi time out at this point  because I had cut my hair pretty dykey prior to this trip and Jen came slightly unglued...lol.  (Don't get me wrong, her folks are not haters by any means, but she had described me one way and wanted me to fit the picture she had painted for them)...Her mom is shelling nuts so that Jen can bake her a batch of cookies with them in it...I don't remember what kind of nuts they were but this is the conversation:

Jen's Mom: Oh Tommy, Jen makes the best cookies....do you like nuts?
Me: No, not a big fan
Jen's Mom: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, they aren't very conducive to my lifestyle
Jen's Mom: (puzzled look)
ME: I don't like how nuts feel in my mouth

By this point Jen has practically climbed under the table and I'm about to piss myself because of how clever my comment was, though inappropriate in that  I totally forgot where I was...my bad.  Jen put me on time out for a lil while, but her mom chuckled about it after the fact.  Turns out even after awkward conversations like the one above...the rents LOVE ME :) and they think I'm a good influence on Jen and Lil man...

Yes, that's right I'm patting myself on the back right now....I'm a rockstar, thanks for noticing.