Grandma's going overboard

I love this lady but she is turning me into someone that I am not.  I'm always on the defense with it comes to her.  She's the sweet lil old lady one minute and a complete bitch the next.  She has developed this new way of accusing me of things without directly saying that I did them.  For example, today a lid wouldn't fit on the tupperware container she was putting leftovers in.  She mentioned to Jen how the dishwasher was ruining all of her stuff.  Jen tells me this and I asked Jen if it was one of the white bowls...she didn't know.

Later, Grandma mentioned it to me and I told her I bet it was one of the white bowls wasn't it...the lids haven't gone on easy in all the freakin' years I've lived here.  So then I got a lecture about how that her tupperware was made in the days before dishwashers so even though they say dishwasher safe (yes ladies and gentlemen--they say it on the bottom) I'm fucking them up by putting them in the dishwasher, even on the top rack because I mean what else could it be...it probably has NOTHING to do with the fact that they were the first bowls to ever come off the tupperware assembly line...jesus lady.

Later, she brought up that the plant on the sunroom porch had ruined the carpet underneath (something I told her about last year, but became apparent again when my uncle overwatered it a couple of weeks ago.  She has decided that the bottom part (which holds the overflow water) is cracked.  Okay, I'll agree to that. Here's where it gets better...it was most likely cracked when it got moved...one of the MANY times it's been moved over the years...she put extra emphasis on the many.... (i'm the only one who has moved it ever)...

Again the crack couldn't be attributed to the fact that the fucking plant is so big (she got it as a wedding present over 55 years ago) and it weighs like over 100 pounds... it's weight alone could have cracked it...who knows, but yep, I'm being blamed for it.

She got into this habit because I clean out the fridge on the regular.  She is famous for cooking shit that is bad and I don't enjoy food poisoning or botchilism (sp?)  She made sausage gravy biscuits one morning with RANCID sausage.  But because she had pulled it from the freezer there's no way it could be bad (the label on the freezer bag said, 1974)  JESUS CHRIST LADY....

If I'm not home when she cooks, I don't eat.  There's weird shit in the fridge like squirrel for instance.  (Which I actually helped skin, fucking grossest experience of my life)... I've tried squirrel before, (and rabbit, and turtle, and frog, etc....) I'm from the country, but I'm not Country... I'll eat the hell out of some deer meat though, if its cooked right...but i digress.  This lady is trying to kill me... I know it. On the plus side, I've eaten so much weird shit, I'm bound to have built up some sort of freakish immunity to many things..I guess time will tell.

For now, my goal is getting through this last week of classes, updating the resume and finding a job that will pay me enough to be able to pay rent...Folks think i have a sweet deal happening here with not having to pay rent and all...but at this point if feels more like I sold my soul to the devil for a free place to leave.  This place has it's perks...but I can't take it much longer.  It's gonna break gma's heart and I don't want to do that...but for my own sanity I've gotta do what I've gotta do.