Things that make you go hmmmm....

It feels like I pulled a muscle under my chin, how random is that.  I'd love to blog about how I was trying out this new acrobatic style tantric cunnilingus move that I learned from a traveling lesbian gypsy--but alas, that is not the case. It happened sometime while I was asleep.  How ridiculous is that.

I went to bed last night which was Thursday and was confident that I'd wake up and it would be Saturday morning so that I could sleep in... what a disappointment waking up was.  Nope, still Friday (normally a great day, but my 5 to 6 hours of actual sleep a night has finally caught up with me and I just want to sleep in some kind of terrible)... I got to work a few minutes late because I fell asleep while standing in a hot shower.  All was cool  until I woke myself up freaking out because of a dream where I was drowning...

Since I was already late I called security to see if anyone was waiting for me (they weren't thank goodness)...stopped at the gas station for some liquid crack (aka Mountain Dew--I tried drinking a lo carb monster yesterday and just couldn't, my taste buds rejected it)... I get here to work, grab my clip board and head out to the warehouse floor.  In the midst of my rounds I notice that a couple of my contractors are missing. (My contractors have two supervisors, me because I work for the staffing agency that employs them and their floor supervisor who works for the client, part of my job is to ensure that all of my people show up and/or are accounted for and that they perform to the expectations of the client...)

I hear my name being paged over the intercom followed by an extension to call--I call and discover the two missing people were now in the building but way late... I come to the front to coach them and see what the hell the deal is... they looked stoned out of their minds and the dude tells me that the reason he's late is "it's his birthday." Okay, happy birthday but you're still late and normal points apply... had you been here on time then you would have work, but since your late, your floor sup opted to not give you any work today... (he looked, real bent out of shape over it, NOT)... the girl, who rides with him was conveniently not feeling well but felt okay to come pick up her pay check.  Today is not the day for shit like this.  I don't have the patience.  I issued her double points because even though she showed up, its still like calling out on a friday (which are double points days) because she didn't even make an effort to work.  At five attendance points, people get fired. End of story.

So I've been a bitch already this morning...still trying to get caught up on my reports, print equipment badges for my new starts next week and get things lined up for Tuesday.  The great news is that they just made the announcement that they are leaning towards NOT working on Monday which is Labor Day... they were scheduled to at first, but they got caught up with the pick and are thinking its not necessary...but we will be scheduled for ten hour days for next week in order to avoid working next Saturday....

Peak season is kind of officially here...as much as it can be right now with the economy the way it is.  They are going to start picking Christmas product on Tuesday and start shipping to the stores....that's one downside to the warehouse industry (and even retail) you have to look at holiday product months before its even time to buy it...Halloween has already been shipped out, Christmas stuff is up to bat.

Friday's are supposed to be fun days as far as the daily meeting go.  Ugh.  Today was guess who one the Super Bowl every single year it was played. Oh yay, NOT.  I don't follow football or any sports really, I like watching some from time to time,but I just don't get into it.  Exes have been huge sports fanatics... mainly Football (the Giants or the Bills depending on who I was seeing at the time)... one was all about UFC, watched a few pay per views and always fell asleep before the main event... i just don't have an interest.  Jen is apparently a huge Bears fan (it's sad that I just text her prior to posting this to ensure that that is in fact the team she's been talking about...I had it right which made me feel good and like I do pay attention, but since she's from Colorado, my first thought was to say the Broncos)... College basketball, Pro ball as well... I try and share this interest with her but I'm not even good at faking it.... she'll watch the stuff on tv and I'll sigh deeply, roll my eyes, and just do homework instead.  What am I going to do with Regular season football fast approaching and school about to come to an end... maybe I'll take up knitting again instead...I dunno...just something about commentators and the sports thing in general that stresses me out.

I'd like to physically go to a hockey game since I've never been, but I dont want to watch it on TV.  I like baseball, but don't follow on TV, I love Softball, but I just wanna go watch real people play up close and personal, not watch via TV....I dunno...

The moral of the story is that I was totally ganged up on in the meeting today.  Out of five women in the room, and about 13 men, only three of us weren't football fans and could have given a shit...of those three, two of us are lesbos so a lot of the guys just assumed we were supposed to have an interest.  I'm sorry but when I was given my "lesbian card" it said nothing about having to like sports in order to keep it.  But then again, maybe I was too distracted by the shiny new toaster oven and swiss army knife that they gave me for "crossing over" HA.

Okay, I have work to do for real.  Have to be caught up and ready for the bosses return from the Gay World Series.

That just makes me mad

So I reset the alarm this morning and climbed back into bed...I closed my eyes and drifted away into a fabulous dream. Jen had come over for a second but had to be somewhere, so she kept talking about how she didn't have a lot of time. I was like okay time is irrelevant right now...but nonetheless one thing leads to another and this dream turns into the most X-rated dream I've ever had EVER....it was so realistic and just phenomenol.

So I'm sure you can only imagine how pissed I was when right on the verge of the most mind blowing, earth shattering orgasm of my dreams thus far (which is crucial cuz i'm one of those folks that gets off in real life while having a dream about it, if that makes sense) and a double one at that becuase it was one of those simultaneous, we both get off at the same time moments--THE FUCKING ALARM GOES OFF WAKING ME UP. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Sooooo close yet so far away. Jen, I'ma need you to come over and help me out :) wink, wink--STAT. And of course I had reset the alarm to go off too late, so there was no time to just rub one out and not dwell on it...instead I'm all pent up and may end up taking it out on my employees, lol...

FUCK. Not fair, not fair, not fair.

Imagery of a slumbering mind

So I watched the movie The Unborn with my friend Julie last night--quite freaky if you ask me but rather enjoyable. There was this creepy little boy in it who was like possessed or something thoughout the entire movie so of course I had to have something similar to it in my dream.

The difference is that in my dream it was actually my brother's girlfriends daughter that was standing there possessed like the boy in the movie and she freaked me out. You should know however, that this girl is kind of like that in real life. She's shady, always kicking my dog and what not and just the way she acts towards people being a little smartass, antisocial, rude kid puts me over the edge. I'm not a huge fan of kids in the first place, though the majority of them love me (I used to really dig kids back when I was babysitting and then when I went off to college it seemed like most of them just drove me to drink, lol)... but this kid is ridiculous and she needs her ass beat and an attitude adjustment. I just dont have a high tolerance for disrespectful kids...if I had acted like she does when I was a little kid I would have been beat and forced to get over the attitude rather quickly.

But anyway, thats not the important part of the dream--I'm not quite done with my rant yet though. This girl is like a demon just from the stares she throws that send daggers of death directly at you...and her mother just babies her and condones it... I guess that's probably why I'll never actually give birth. I don't want to risk having a demon child, lol. Jen has a five year old son (he'll actually be back on Tuesday from visiting his dad)...that kid has manners, behaves, and I've never even had to hit him. That sounds awful I'm sure...I'm sitting here blogging about beating kids and what not, but dammit, some kids need it from time to time. Whenever I'm hanging out with lil man (Jen's son) he's an angel...most of the time he acts better when she's not around, lol...but I think a lot of kids do that. If he starts acting up I just have to say, alright dude...we've gotta talk...I explain the situation and he gets it... Sometimes he'll throw a quasi tantrum or freak out about not getting his way and I put him in time out. A lot of kids don't really learn anythign from time out (and he may very well be one of them) but I think he's caught on that if he's in time out he can't be playing with legos, watching a movie, hanging out with us, or whatever which are things he'd rather be doing than sitting in a room alone on time out. I dunno.

Anyway...ever sense my grandfather passed away about 4 and 1/2 years ago I've had nightmares that involve him. Not like zombies or werewolves type stuff, more like him disapproving of the way my life is going type stuff. You see I was very close to him and always went to him for advice. He was really disappointed went I quit college, but I was depressed and couldn't function at the time. He still loved me I know but he wanted me to succeed despite it all. He told me shortly before he died, that it didn't matter how long it took me to accomplish something so long as I worked for it and made it happen eventually...which is what I've done.

The nightmares normally consist of him being alive and me being so happy to see him, running up to give him a hug and him not even acknowledging me, like I'm invisible or something...in others he pretends not to know me, or just shakes his head and flat out tells me he's disappointed in me. Those type of dreams I always wake up crying... they are hard to deal with.

Last night's dream was different. After having the weird evil kid dream, things transitioned into the grandpa dream. Normally when I have grandpa dreams he is inside, sometimes with oxygen, sometimes without, but always dark and cold....in the dream last night I was getting out my car and he walked out of the gargage. He looked healthy, though still old and had a bright aura about him. I saw him and smiled and he smiled back, he held his arms out and gave me a hug and told me that I was doing a wonderful job and that I'm almost there. He stopped speaking out loud but I could still hear him telling me things...does that make sense? He told me that he appreciated everything I've done for my grandmother since he's been gone and that he wished he could physically be at my graduation to see me walk across that stage...

He told me he was proud of me and that I was doing a great job. Four and half years after the fact and it seems that things are finally "acceptable," with him, me, and my subconscious

I woke up refreshed and felling good. I made it to work on time (with one minute to spare) started my day off right because I woke up to a text from Jen which is always nice.... I just feel good. Yeah, I'm still drained and tired but I feel better overall.

One of my biggest fears is failure. I don't want to fall short and not meet/exceed my goals. I can see the finish line for this venture....now I just have to keep it moving and not pass out before getting there.

Dr. Pepper

I'm almost at the two week mark with having no soda. My record is 18 days soda free. You see, if I were a normal person I would drink a diet soda or something from time to time, but I normally cannot have just one soda...then the diet ones turn into the full fledged ones and well its all downhill from there.

I'm like a crackhead fiending crack right now (only my crack is Dr. Pepper or Pepsi...poured in a glass over ice)--granted I don't see myself doing anything as crucial as trading sexual favors with my dealer in order to get some....I'm really just trying to stick to my guns. I dunno...

Sometimes I question my way of thinking...and try and remember why I stop or start doing different things. In this case I'll just wait it out....

The bad part is that I'm now having dreams where I forget I'm not drinking soda and I take a drink of a soda and swallow it before realizing that I had quit...then I get really bummed out and feel guilty, start to cry, and think about how I failed...not really cool dreams at all... all over some damn soda.