Falling off the wagon and laying under the tire

I fell off the carb wagon.  The truth is that I talk a good game but even when I had "given up" carbs, I still hadn't eliminated a daily candy bar or some other type of treat.  I had given up bread with no problem and even fried foods, but candy bars...just couldn't do it.

Well I've been in a weird mood lately.  It pisses me off to see my dad be on this thing for a week and drop ten pounds like that.  Sure, he stuck to it to a t, but even so I justified it by saying that men always drop weight faster than women.  My uncle came and visited and he too is down 10 pounds his first week.

Fuck them.  Not really... I'm bitter, sure--but it's my own fault.  And then today, this weekend, the mood I've been in just isn't helping.  I'm full of angst and just want to punch something or break something.  I'm fine when I'm at work, it's when I'm home that seems to be the real issue.

Despite falling off the wagon, I'm still down 9 pounds since I started this whenever the hell that was, but I've decided that tomorrow is going to be my redo day.  The day where I start over and don't hold this failed attempt against me, just do something to fix it.

I'm going to give up carbs for real this time, no bullshit candy bars and other pointless prior "necessities," I'm the only one in control of this, so I might as well be the one to do something about it.  I can't blame anyone for my failures and well when it comes to taking pride in success, well it will be because I did it and no one else matters.

I told Jen that she wasn't helping the situation.  I was having to always sit around her and watch her drink regular sodas and eat bowl after bowl of cereal, and just eat whatever the hell she wanted to while I was trying to really not lose my ever fucking loving mind.  Again, she is her own person.  She says she too is going to make changes, but I can't wait for her to make them before I get motivated.

My bridesmaid dress fits so that's a plus...my goal is to have to have it taken in a bit prior to my sister's August 18th wedding.  Time will tell...one day at a time.