Grandma commented this morning as I let Pepper out and she was getting ready for church how my pants looked like a cross...when I looked at her puzzled she explained it had something to do with the fact my pants were in my ass crack (my translation of course)...really grandma...yeah so what my shorts were in my ass crack...this happens when you go commando under your clothes when at home (hell yeah to liberation...I refuse to wear a bra, underwear, or any shoes other than flip flops when in the house)... It's my perrogative--besides she's just a hater that her bladder isn't good enough to let her cooter just be "free"
More ten hour days to come. Every Saturday this month is a scheduled work day. My mom, aunt, and uncle are going to see my grandparents in Kentucky for their 50th wedding anniversary this Thanksgiving...translation--Mandi and I are going to cook Thanksgiving dinner for Jen, lil man, and ourselves. My brother will probably go to his skanks peoples' house... so I doubt he's in and grandma will probably go to my Uncle's house across the field (actually their oven is broke so they will probably cook it here for her) Fuck... need to find somewhere to be.
The nor'easter officially sucked. Today was sunny though which was a nice change. I was in a fucked up mood though. Not a bad one, just weird. I was like lost in my head but not really thinking of anything at the moment.
I went to see a Christmas Carol with Jen and lil man in Disney Real 3D...it was alright but not as grand as I had imagined it. I have a lot of phone calls to make tomorrow and I'm just going to have to close the office door and handle personal business at work--everyone is closed by the time I get off from work... I've gotta figure out a way to put off these student loans a while...I can't afford it.
Things that are stressing me out right now:
-personal property taxes are due Dec. 5th
-Student loans are due
-I never seem to have any money
-I need to find a new job (I have a feeling come the first of the year, I won't have one)
-I spent my evening redoing my boss's mom's hair--I did it originally on Wednesday but was so exhausted after a ten hour shift that I switched her colors and the color I normally highlight with I put all over and her all over color was highlights (so it was lighter than normal)...I had to fix it (she offered to pay me) but I didn't take any money because it was my own fault...I'm just glad that it wasn't something crucial you know... it could have been pretty bad had I really fucked something up
-I need to get away from Grandma
-My family in general is stressing me out (I spend more time doing shit for them than I do for myself and it's getting old) I need to learn to say no more often. I'd like to just move away...yeah, I'd be homesick, but I think that it would benefit the situation in the long run
I dunno just random shit in general is controlling the dome piece. I'm unwinding right now with a Wild Blue Blueberry Lager--havent had one in a hot minute. It's hittin' the spot. I feel out of sorts. Just off kilter in general. I want to eat everything in sight...I want to say fuck some Weight Watchers, even though I'm down almost thirteen pounds (meetings every monday)...
I have new starts tomorrow at work...my boss is going to be in Texas all week, but still available via cell and email...no biggie...
I really want to do the grad school thing...but then comes the issue of adding a minimum 25 grand to my already 50 grand in student loans... and I'm not guaranteed to be in a financial situation at that point to allow repayment...My mom and sister think I should just call the student loan people to work something out...I really want my MBA though, Jen is supportive of whatever I opt for which is awesome.
I want to scoop her up somedays...just pack our bags and vanish from the face of the earth. (at least around here)...she's new to this area still, only been here a year...I've been here 24 of my 28 years...I need new scenery. I've got a case of Cabin Fever for life in general. I need a plan. It's impossible for me to get ahead in life when I'm not sure where I want to be... I can't just wander around aimlessly and hope to stumble upon it...
The chicks that work at Subway commented how they noticed I was losing weight (mental note, cut back on subway, ha)... I gave my friend Julie a makeover the other day...I cut her hair and told her to start stylin' the shit and to lose the center part....I also waxed her eyebrow(s)...now she has two, lol with a killer arch.
Lil man rode with my mom to the movies today...Jen and I rode separate... I gave her a cd to play to keep him amused...she got out at the theatre cussing at me talking about, if you ever tell me to watch what I say around him (we all cus a lot so I'm always telling him to not say that...) after letting him listen to that music, I'm going to snap... My bad, I forgot to tell her not to play number 10 which is Sexy bitch instead of the radio edit (sexy chick)... lol... he loves singing Lady Gaga's Bad Romance right now.... and Shakira's she wolf, etc...we have a good time...but I digress.
Four thirty in the morning is going to get here early...time to call it a night. I'm so lame.
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3 comments:
Stress; it's affecting everyone, and it S!U!C!K!S! Could it be that this year is winding down to a close? Ugh. Tommy, my dear, if it makes you feel better, let me say this: I too am under a hell of a lot of stress. Work, school, personal issues...it's bad, but you have to keep your chin up! There is a possibility that I too may lose my job before the end of the summer. I sometimes wonder if I am going nuts, you know? Even though you are going through this rough patch, just remember: don't give up on what you have accomplished! Remember: 13 lbs LOST and NOT gained!!!! As for the student loans; there are two ways to postpone the payments, 1) go back to school for at least half time, which is what I am doing now or 2) take your family's advice and call to negotiate the loans. That is an easy fix, but you have to act on it now, you know? Make that call! Do it! :)
It sounds like you have a plan, now all you have to do is stick to it, make the calls, and move your "chess pieces" around. Try not to get overwhelmed. It is easy to do, but if you see things through, you will change your circumstance. Yea!!!!!!! Hang in there, Tommy!!!!!
If you wanna talk off Blogger, I could email you. Let me know. Have a good day and an even better week!!!!
If ya want I could come and kick Grandma's ass. It sounds as though she could use it.
Commando is a good thang. Stress is not. Sending lots of *hugs* for the stress.
xoxo
~vk~
I remember those days when I was in school I just couldn't wait to be finished so I can have a life. Then when I was finished I wanted to go back. I love going to school and would go back in an instant. Someday. Call the loan people and work it out. They are usually willing to try to come to a deal even if it's just for a short time.
Hahahaha! Gma is "just a hater that her bladder isn't good enough to let her cooter just be "free". I'm always commando at home too but sometimes wear a bra. I'm not busty by any means but once I passed 30 I started to become concerned with things heading "south".
Finally, I come from a family that is high drama and always demanding of my time and attention. I was always doing and giving to them and not receiving anything in return. Several years ago I came to the realization that this is my life and I have to live for me. I've had to distance myself a bit and say "no" a few times. It is a situation I constantly battle with and it was hard at first. There were hard feelings but over time I have stood my ground and my family has come to accept that I have my own life. Good luck lady and keep your head up! :)
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