Sex in real life

I've always had a theory and that is basically that sex in real life will rarely ever be like it is in the movies. This has become even more apparent since I've been with Jen. Perhaps you are wondering what I'm talking about and what the fuck this has to do with anything.

First of all, back off because when has anything I've had to say really been relevant... GOSH. Anyway...

An example of real life sex was seen today. Jen and I slept in and lil man was still knocked out so there was time for a good ol fashioned rubbin'. Sure, that's hot right... You know the kind where you wake up, stretch out roll over and realize the best part of waking up--she's right there next to you...you start touching her, running your hand across her everything... both of you start getting a little fidgety and then one thing leads to another. Kissing with morning breath, breathing deepens and becomes faster.... you get the point.

Well in the midst of this morning rub fest, Jen (sorry babe for putting your biznazz on front street but it had to be done)... who is obviously right around the corner in the cumming department... I'm at the point of ego boost...giving my self an inner monologue style ego boost (something like, yeah Tommy YOU ARE a rock star...Damn Jen is so fucking hot... I love this woman and how she makes me feel)...

Real life sets in: Pick up your phone its your grandma callin', pick up the phone it's your grandma callin'--My phone rings. Fuck... it's obviously grandma... as I have set her ringtone to be this catchy lil ditty to not slip up and answer the phone inappropriately.... I refuse to answer it. I whisper in Jen's ear and urge her to ignore her, your so close I tell her... don't let her distract you.... I don't feel guilty at this point...I was on a mission dammit, I was not letting Gma keeping me from making her cum...

Okay here we go back on track, I feel it building again....FUCK... Jen's phone is now ringing. Yep, you guessed it, it's grandma calling Jen's phone now. Son of a bitch. Jen is too nice to not answer, lol....so I'm still rubbin' (which is a fun thing I like to do, especially if she's on the phone for her mom, haha... makes things extra funny for me, seeing her try and talk to her mom in a regular non panting voice, lol) but I digress....I hear grandma say, "tell Tommy I need her help again." Jen responds, "Okay, I'll send her down there in a minute or two." Call ended.

Within the next thirty seconds the deed was done and I felt Jen's whole body explode in ecstasy... both of us feeling accomplished... I head downstairs to help grandma and discover that she had made the calls a few minutes before from the commode. She had had an accident and shit (literally) was everywhere. I had a mess to clean up to say the least.

I was relieved that I didn't get up extra early and get motivated cleaning...I'd be pissed if I had just scrubbed the bathroom and she had shit smeared everywhere like she did...poor lady. It can't be easy having to have someone else help you clean yourself up, wipe your ass and all that. Later in the afternoon she gave me a hug and told me how much she appreciated me and actually started crying...she says all the time that "Old age ain't for Sissies." I believe her.

She stresses me out on the regular but I feel good overall that I'm here to help her when she needs it. She should be back to "normal" by now though... she never needed this much additional help before her fall... my mom is at the point where she's going to tell Gma that if she continues needing this much additional help she's going to need to look into assisted living.

I have other examples of how sex in real life is nothing like in the movies, but I think I've put mine and Jen's biznazz out there enough for one night...

Pick up the phone it's your grandma calling, pick up the phone it's your grandma calling