the irony of it

I had been having the worst bout with headaches imaginable for well over a month and a half.  I take a medication for migranes (despite it being used for other things... it comes in handy since I don't generally have headaches), so with me having these god awful headaches nonstop all the time I was beginning to get concerned to say the least. 

They got so bad sometimes that when I moved my headI had to freeze mid-movement because of the throbbing, shooting pain made me feel like i was going to black out.  I had to keep funtioning so I just kind of got used to having a permanent headache and started making jokes about it probably being a brain tumor and kept it moving.

A couple of weeks ago I started considering the possibility of it being sinus related or something.  I had to consider any possiblity so that they would go away. They headache spanned from my eyeballs across the top of my head  and down the base of my neck... it was insane. 

Well the turn of events came when I woke up last Monday and had toothache from hell.  Like to the point that I wanted to pull all of my teeth out on the right side of my mouth out myself with no novacaine, and I considered it for real.  I went to work as usual because I had to do payroll for the guys and ensure everyone's time was submitted for the payweek that friday... well as soon as that was done and 8:00 am rolled around (4 fucking hours after I woke up with this issue...longest 4 hours of my life) I went to my insurance website to locate the closest dentist to my house (opted for the house rather than work because I figured the odds of getting in at a "country" dentist were way more likely than one in "civilization" such as Chesapeake...)

I lucked up and the first one I called had an opening for the very next day at 8:30...

I called my boss and was approved to take a sick day, emailed corporate so they could put in my sick day time and all that jazz, slept in three and a half hours and then headed off to the little po-dunk dentist that actually ended up being pretty high tech as far as the x-ray machine went...

So anyway... the xray showed nothing wrong with my teeth and i looked at the dentist and was going off in my head about 'what the fuck do you know you backwoods quack (which is pretty fucking crazy since I've been raised in the country my entire life, doesn't make me an ignorant rednect like all these folks out here, lol--lucky for me, it's not contagious, just like me being a lesbian isn't contagious to them...hahahah) but anyway...

I was like they what the hell is wrong because its making my entire head hurt doc... he feels my jaw and informed me that i was having a muscle spasm in my jaw on the right side...yes... a mother fucking CHARLIE HORSE IN MY JAW...have you ever heard of such a thing... Had the hygenist not been non-stop talking to me about her bible study and choir this and choir that and almost past out when I used the word pissed I would have sooooo taken the opportunity to point out the irony and total humor in the fact that there was a big ol lesbo sitting there with basically a case of lockjaw---HAHAHAHAH.... how random is it to get a charlie horse in your jaw... either way they suck.

After a week of "mouth stretches" long showers with hot water beating down on it, and hot compresses, no charlie horse and no headaches...good grief!!!