Jen brought to my attention something that I found disturbing. She told me that I'm always on her case. That's how she feels anyway... My interpretation is different of course, lol. You see, Jen is the laid back one in our relationship... the one who isn't bothered if the dishes don't get done immediately, or if things pileup or if a phone call doesn't get made or if something gets put off until the next day... where I am the anal retentive one in our relationship.
Granted I have (in my mind...and I hope she would agree) considerable better) in many areas... such as the cleaning and what not... but when she told me I'm always on her case I had to think back and I could think of some examples where I could see where she feels like that. Jen, did you pay your property tax; Jen, did you call in lil mans RX refill; Jen did you do this, Jen did you such and such; Jen did you write your resume yet?
Its difficult for me to not feel the need to remind her of things because historically she has not done things. Most recently was taking the rent check... She said she'd take it. I get home and it's still on the table, so I have to take it which wouldn't be a big deal...but it was already the 2nd... I get there and the office is already closed so when they get it it's the 3rd... okay, still not late (as far as fees go...but just the principle)...but I love her... so hey...
I asked her to call in a refill for lil man a few days before he ran out... I ended up calling it in... It shouldn't matter because we are a team, but I guess it just hurt my feelings because she made me feel like I was trying to be her mom and I wasn't ... It's just how I am... lol. If she's allowed to put stuff off all the time until she gets around to it, then why shouldn't I be allowed to ease my mind by reminding her to do things.
But in reality it doesn't ease my mind... it just bothers me if I ask her or I write it down and it doesn't get down, so really, I shouldn't really be anal about it in the first place you know. What is it really accomplishing? I can't do everything myself you know and I'm not saying I want to or that she is inadequate or incapable in anyway... it just caught me off guard is all.
I wrote her resume for her so that I would know it was done and with all the stuff going on with her work, her mind would be at ease as well and perhaps some of the tension would be alleviated off of her... plus, hell I'm the job hopper of the two of us...she's been with the same company for thirteen years..it's not like she has resume writing experience... I don't mind helping her out you know.
I am making it my personal project to work on not only my tone but how I remind her of things so that she doesn't feel like I'm constantly riding her ass. She's an adult. She doesn't need me to tell her what to do. I can't guarantee I'll not say something about the bills we have together, lol... but I'll try... baby steps you know.
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